Monday, December 29, 2008

did christmas just happen?

what a blur. christmas has come and gone and it was lovely but it feels hazy to me. the tuesday before christmas i got sick- i became extremely nauseous and dizzy out of the blue. no fun for hypochondriac, anxious little me. so it set off a panic attack or two. i wanted to chalk up all the symptoms to anxiety but something else was going on, we just aren't sure what. the nausea is unbelievable, it feels like im pregnant times 10 or so. [i'm not pregnant]. the best doctors can come up with is some sort of vertigo thing going on and i guess that's what it is. the first few days i had this awful brain fog- couldn't think clearly, felt completely out of it, lightheaded etc. each day the symptoms have lessened slightly although last night i woke up with an intense episode of it. i'm taking zofran for nausea which i think is helping. and i got some good ol' ativan to help with my anxiety. it's been frustrating, i'm annoyed at myself i feel like there's always something going on with me and it's always random. [like when i got chiggers, or that i have TB, and i had 5 wisdom teeth, and i'm allergic to lemons?! ...] so it's been debilitating and of course being anxious only made it worse, but i think it's getting better. on the upside? if there is one, i quit coffee in the midst of this, having no desire for it plus not wanting to make symptoms worse. though now spacey headaches can be contributed to caffeine withdrawal as well, who knows.
i am thankful for a husband who is patient, who prays for me, who is consistent, who loves me and takes care of me, and takes care of our son when i can't.
now i'm suddenly realizing it'll be the new year in 3 days. and i'm sentimental and overwhelmed. we lost two loved ones unexpectedly this year, and had two people dear to our hearts diagnosed with cancer. but we also had new babes born into our lives and have deepened friendships. i enjoy making new years resolutions, i always make a bunch and usually keep a few- one year i said get married and i sure did, one year i said get pregnant and i sure did..haha... i will have to make a list. it may include get pregnant, we will see...
saylor enjoyed christmas, he actually figured out how to open a present. he also loved passing out everyone's presents-which i thought was so cute. he is currently watching 'a bug's life' which is definitely hands-down his favorite movie. well it's the first movie he's ever watched the whole way through and he can't get enough. 'bug! bug?' everyday.... everyday. funny how i can totally tune it out but colin picks up on it, he knows all the character's names and the storyline. we had borrowed it from ella before we got it for christmas, i think it's played like 100 times at our house. i don't know any characters names, have no idea what the story is about. i think there is a bird? and there's a circus or something.... anyway i'm just laying low enjoying my family and resting, trying to get well.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

twilight gone bad

a few months ago i ran into my lovely friend maggie at church and she started gushing semi-sheepishly about this book called twilight. now, maggie is a [sexy] librarian and of course i'm always interested in what she's reading. so i got twilight from the library and thus joined the millions of girls who are obsessed with the series. there are four books and after i finished each one i passed them on to my friend carri. our constant gushing to each other got another 5 of my girlfriends to read it. two of my friends read the first book in one day. it's like 600 pages. the books are teen fiction. it's romance, and it's about vampires. for me personally, i enjoyed twilight, it was an easy read and i was interested to see where she was going with it. it was not my favorite book/series. i think it could have been written better and sometimes i'd be annoyed for like 40 pages. then there'd be a good chunk/scene and i would feel satisfied. overall, i think the whole story itself is pretty cool. but all along i kept saying 'i can't wait to see the movie. i feel like the movie could be even better than the book'. she had a really intense love story with some really intense action scenes... ARRGH so frustrating. a few of us excitedly, finally went and saw the movie last night. WORST movie i've ever seen.i think the worst movie i've ever seen in a theater is A.I. [with solaris a close 2nd].... twilight may have been worse than those. i cannot even believe how terrible it was. toward the end we were just laughing at out loud at how ridiculous it was. the acting was terrible, the music! the music was awful. the scenes were so choppy, didn't go together i swear if you haven't read the book you'd have no f-ing clue what was going on. like i literally think they said 'alright let's do page 57. alright now a couple lines from page 244. and, scene'. stupid scene. not only do you not believe what is happening, you don't even flippin' know what's going on. at least we were all going 'what the hell?!?!' together so it was pretty laughable. of course there are plans to film the second book and of course they have gotten a new director for it so we will see what happens. there is little hope.
the battery on my mac needs replaced and now my charger seems to be broken as i have to finagle it at a certain angle to get it to charge. no fun! also saylor seems to be getting sick, this morning he woke up and his whole face was covered in dried green snot. that is absolutely disgusting but i still wish i had taken a picture. covered. oh the joys of parenting.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


christmas is sneaking up on me but i'm enjoying it. i had a dream the other night that our friend tim was santa claus. and i was selected to be mrs. claus and i got to go with him to deliver presents on christmas eve. i was so excited to ride the sleigh and i couldn't wait to see how it was done-delivering presents to the world in one night! and i was so proud of tim for being santa claus, what a huge responsibility. oh my gosh it had to be one of my all time favorite dreams. i am still laughing out loud about it.
last night i went out with some people to celebrate our friend nick's bday. we had dinner at the golden phoenix. my first time there but an apparent favorite among many. it was pretty good. i even took a picture of my veg.fried rice because i liked the silver platter it came in...and i tend to take more random pictures when colin isn't home so i can show him what he's missing. because he totally cares about the platter my food comes on, right?

so the waiter was walking around handing out the little take home cartons and he walked past me and abruptly pulled my chopsticks out of my dish, as they were sticking straight up in the dish [even more so than in the picture]. he said in his broken english 'no, you can't do that!!' and muttered a couple sentences as he walked by that i didn't hear or understand at all. i was so amused/confused at the same time. one of nick's friends then explained to me that you should never do that, it is is a sign of death and to just stick them like that is very disrespectful! WHO KNEW? i sure didn't! wikipedia has the down low under
universal and chinese etiquette. i felt bad i certainly didn't mean to be disrespectful. it was pretty funny though. i'm glad i know now. watch your chopsticks people!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

more words regarding vaccines

this is part of the forward of the book i am currently reading, 'mother warriors', by yes, jenny mccarthy. her path in life has drastically changed- i commend her for using her voice and doing everything she possibly can to speak loudly-for herself and thousands of parents. i've only just started the book but i would definitely recommend it.
doctor's are finally coming forward-he is one of many. this forward is brief, just the tip of the iceberg, i say...
"...Vaccines can cause autism. Diet and supplements and other alternatives to doing nothing can lead to recovery from autism. period. We doctors need to stop deceiving our patients into thinking that immunizations are 'free'. Every medical intervention costs the body something, and we have legal and moral obligation to tell parents.
When I give, for example, amoxicillin for a urinary tract infection, I'm almost apologetic as I describe the rash the kids can get, the possible yeast infections, and the diarrhea that can be caused by this and most other antibiotics. One in ten thousand children could have a dangerous allergic reaction.
When I discuss vaccines with parents, I talk to them about the benefits and the risks. The official position of the American Academy of Pediatrics may be the same as my personal position, but they are far too involved with the pharmaceutical industry to actually do anything but pay lip service to an open discussion. The CDC and the AAP are filled with doctors whose research, speaking engagements, and travel are often funded by the manufacturers of vaccines. Many of these same doctors are paid consultants, and some later go to work full-time for the pharmaceutical industry.
...Yes, most vaccines have much less mercury, but wait until the evidence against aluminum in vaccines becomes common knowledge. The body of research regarding aluminum's harm to human cells already contains hundreds of articles. The most damning conclusions were recently published by Dr. Robert Sears, a very well-known and well-respected pediatrician and the son and partner of Dr.William Sears, long regarded as 'America's Pediatrician'. Using the numbers he gathered from the FDA's own data and web site, Dr.Sears points out the unbelievable difference between the acknowledged toxic dose for a baby, 20 micograms, and the amount found in hepatitis B vaccine given on the day of birth, 250 micrograms. At two months of age, this same infant could receive immunizations containing as much as 1,875 micrograms of aluminum. This is disgraceful and dangerous, and Dr.Sears goes on to say that his "instinct was to assume that the issue had been properly researched, and that studies had been done on healthy infants to determine their abilitiy to rapidly excrete aluminum."
No studies have been done. None. He, and we, can conclude what scientists have known for a long time: Evidence has existed for years that aluminum in amounts this large is harmful for humans. We can only guess what harm we might be causing to babies with these huge overdoses of aluminum.
In mid-2008, Dr.Bernadine Healy finally spoke up. Dr. Healy is the former head of the United States National Institutes of Health [NIH] and a key member of the Institute of Medicine. Referring to the association between thimerosal, vaccines, and autism, Dr. Healy said "I think public health officials have been too quick to dismiss the hypothesis as 'irrational', without sufficient studies of causation...without studying the population that got sick". I believe she's just one of many intelligent doctors and scientists who know that we need to study the link between vaccines and autism and other neuroimmune disorders.
Like many of you and some of my colleagues, I'm extremely concerned about what has caused the tremendous increase in autism and related disorders over the past decade. The presumption that doctors are much better at diagnosis is absurd and unscientific....The truth is that we have to look much harder at what happens when we directly and repeatedly inject toxic material into babies, toddlers, and children. The benefits for most healthy children are easily matched or outweighed by the risks of the immunization schedule used by almost all pediatricians. Some of our vaccines have outlived their usefulness in the united states and elsewhere, and others need reformulation to make them safer for those families who want their children to receive them. additionally, pediatricians and the medical community at large have to begin listening very closely to parents who know their children better than we do....."
Jay N. Gordon, M.D., F.A.A.P., I.B.C.L.C., F.A.B.M.
Assitant Clinical Professor of Pediatrics
UCLA Medical Center
Former Senior Fellow in Pediatric Nutrition, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Institute

Monday, December 8, 2008

christmas Q's

my blog layout isn't very pretty right now, i still need get a new, pretty template. i may have to have colin help me out a bit with it... i definitely am ready for something new.. soon, soon!
**update:soon has arrived,obviously. i've finally learned how update my template. :)***

tagged by lindsay, christmas traditions!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? i definitely prefer wrapping paper but darnit if the gift bag happens to be easier some of the time. i'll roll with it.

2. Real tree or Artificial? i grew up with the real tree deal, us all going to chop it down, the whole kit-n-caboodle. i was perplexed and weirded out by artificial trees. then one year that was hectic in many ways, we bought a fake tree. and then i realized fake trees are pretty awesome. i think ideally i prefer real... but artificial ones are more convenient. i dunno, good debate.

3. When do you put up the tree? well. so colin and i have had little mini-real trees and then inherited a nice huge artificial one. but we got annoyed with it and last year colin threw away the bottom 2/3's of the we have a base. and we have a top. also it is locked in our storage and we can't find our key, or get ahold of our landlord. i should just go grab a huge branch from outside, it could well be prettier than our 1/3 top that's locked up. [what a sad, pitiful tale :(]

4. When do you take the tree down? by the new year. after that it's just weird and depressing.

5. Do you like eggnog? i do. though just a small glass of it is all i can handle.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? hhmm for christmas. we were all stoked about getting the original Nintendo... OH my cat. that was a great gift.

7. Hardest person to buy for? all the parents we are around usually stump us for awhile.

8. Easiest person to buy for? right now my son because i know exactly what things he loves and what i want him to have!

9. Do you have a nativity scene? for the past few years my stepmom has been giving us kids chunks of our nativity scene-she picked out different ones for each of us, with our personalities in mind. mine are [get this lindsay!] the Willow Tree. me gusta mucho.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? in general i prefer mail over email, OF COURSE. nothin' like letters in the mail. but i mail but a handful of christmas cards every year, if that. we've been wanting to do a quick family picture and mail that baby out but we will see if we follow through... i do want to be the cheesy family that writes a christmas family letter every year with their card. many people hate these...but i love them.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? i can't think of a good one. but i can remember the feeling of pretending i liked something when i didn't.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? when harry met a sally is that christmas? no? love actually.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? re-gifted or sold to second hand stores surely. or returned i've done that too.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? i love food. my mom makes cinnamon rolls every christmas morning. and egg/sausage casserole.

16. Lights on the tree? um yes. of course.

17. Favorite Christmas song? hmm. so many. o holy night [though it's gotta be done right], do you hear what i hear, sleigh ride-ok any amy grant christmas song for nostalgia and any song singing 'bout our savior can make me weep.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? we have some family in michigan now so we may become travelers. we've usually stayed in columbus.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? dasher and dancer and donner and blitzen...? comet and cupid and donner and blitzen. wait. PRANCER. and vixen!? vixen is a reindeer. spitzen? vincent. and rudolph. seriously why do i not know. vixen? that is a 'malicious woman with a fierce temper'. i'd stay away from this vixen R-deer.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? i will take either if they fit my style. how sad that i can't currently recall what we have. i am NOT visual. colin decorates. end of story.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? aaagh don't open presents on christmas eve! you can open ONE gift the night before. but only if that's a current tradition.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? i really hate all the.. is the word consumerism? i don't want my kids to think it's all about getting gifts and that's it.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? i don't care what color it is. i love that all our ornaments are memories. from childhood to recent.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? already said i love to eat. no traditional dinner. but there's dinner and i enjoy it.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? kleen kanteen water bottles are on my list as well as 30 rock seasons.

26. Who is most likely to respond to this? probably katie couric.

27. Does Santa wrap your gift or leave them unwrapped? oh wrapped all the way up! we have our stockings stuffed and then we each have a stuffed animal unwrapped or something. the rest we gotta tear into and make a big mess.

tag kristin, SARAH,beth, kelly...and anyone who feels like doing this!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

happy birthday saylor!

my son is 2 today! i can't believe it. of course i was sentimental when he turned one, it was crazy how fast it went,today i feel a little wistful. he's not zero or one anymore... he's not a 'baby',he's a toddler! i'm feeling farther and farther removed from the infant days of swaddling and being up all night nursing...and of course i'm idealizing it in my head. the best remedy for this is, of course, to have another baby.. but saylor himself will never be a baby again. he's huge! yesterday colin wrote every letter of the alphabet and saylor named EVERY single one correctly! every day he learns more and it's amazing. and i suppose most mothers think of their child as a newborn on their birthday. i suppose it is bittersweet every year. i am missing the baby months big time though, i love, love, love the infant stage. i probably should have another baby soon. i think that is making me emotional too. saylor is two. if i got pregnant now he would almost be 3 when the second one was born. the longer we delay this, the older saylor will be. baby #2 is getting more thoughts of 'WHEN DO I DO THIS!?!' then baby #1 did for me, believe it or not. i'm not sure if it's that way for many people...
we had a little party with just family.he did great, got a little overwhelmed when it was time to open presents, a little overstimulated, naturally. he doesn't seem to like being the center of attention [i feel ya say, i'm the same way] but he had a lot of fun and said many a 'thaaankyou!' and 'wooow' and 'i love you's. a couple pictures colin and i took- me with my phone, he with his mac.
elmo cupcake from colin's mom. pretty intense. [he loves sesame street right now]

saylor received some really fantastic toys, we are very thankful to our family!

Friday, December 5, 2008

i love sweatpants

sweatpants are in my top ten favorite things of the world, perhaps the top 5. if i see someone in sweatpants i do not think 'weird, they are wearing sweatpants in a mall' i am more apt to think 'i'm jealous. i want to be wearing sweatpants right now'. working from home, i can't seem to get myself to put on jeans in the morning. why, why would i do that? [altho i'm still searching for that perfect pair of jeans that are crazy comfy/versatile/quality/look great on me]. anyway colin bought some sweatpants
from old navy last friday and i think he's worn them once. i've worn them every single day. i am in love with them. that has been my week, in a nutshell. me and the s-pants. and my son rapidly learning the letters of the alphabet.
we also love watching christmasy movies during the holidays. so we watched the holiday, and then i watched sleepless in seattle. i don't know what makes a movie 'christmasy'. because colin and i watch our favorite movie when harry met sally every year but i don't know if people would consider that christmasy? but i love movies and am open to suggestions for what we should watch!... right when i wrote 'watch' [which is already sounding weird to me. isn't there a better way to say i 'watched' a movie. i viewed a movie?] saylor held up a watch to me. like a wrist watch. WATCH ok it's sounding really weird right now.
i'm also loving! it's amazing. you trade books, cds and dvds with people. you only pay shipping and you can even print out the postage. we don't have a printer yet but we can walk to our post office so that's fortunate for us. i love it! it's so great to put in a movie i'm willing to get rid of and see 3000 options show up for what i can trade it with. you can just put in things that you have, and things that you want. and they will also do the work for you, i get an e-mail saying 'can you do this trade? yes, yes i can mr.swaptree. i sure can.

saylor at the helm. aka at trader joe's.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

i gots lotsa leftovers

currently i have 26 items checked out at the library, 20 on reserve and 1 ready for pickup. it is good stuff.
thanksgiving was good but of course i didn't take any pictures. really gotta start just throwing my camera in my purse.
we went to colin's parents house first. jared's girlfriend was with us and she's pretty amazing. and the priors were there, friends of the family [whom i love partly because they have sweet new zealand accents, but mostly because they are just pretty awesome people]...
we played a cool 'game' that beth had just explained to me on the phone- everyone takes a piece of paper and writes a random phrase [i.e. the easter bunny scared the children.] then you pass your paper to the person next to you and they draw a picture of what the phrase is saying. then you pass it on and the next person writes a phrase describing what the picture is- but you keep folding the paper so the person can only see a phrase or a picture. you keep it going pretty quickly and we just stopped when we got to the end of a piece of paper. this all sounds random but it's pretty hilarious. it's funny to see how a phrase evolves and becomes something so different. it was fun with colin's family because they are seriously so artistic they can actually draw something completely random and have their picture be understood. i loved coming up with random lines. colin was next to me and he would pass these crazy pictures- i remember writing-'the bandana-crotch man protested his shackles' and 'the sexy pig came onto the indifferent chicken' i also got the phrase from colin's dad 'a viagra nightmare' what the heck was i supposed to draw?! i can't draw at all, in the least. anyway. fun, easy game. will play again.
we then went to my sister's house for thanksgiving #2. it was nice to have it at her house. i thought surely i'd be too full to eat anything but i before i knew what was happening i ate two plates at her house.. good stuff! we had a 'kid's table' set up for emily and saylor and emily's cousin jack. saylor was only one who wasn't too sure of it, but i was loving it. i can't believe i have a boy who is sitting at a kid's table. i still feel like i should be sitting at the kid's table.
yesterday we had thanksgiving #3 with my dad's side of the family. saylor randomly did not really get a nap in [he just talked and played in his crib for an hour and a half and we couldn't wait any longer] so he was kind of out of sorts. but he loved luke and sam- the two big doggies. and he loved playing with his cousin leilani [she is four and she just pulls him around and he happily follows]. my step-brothers worked very hard at winning him over and i think brian had the most success pretending to be the count from sesame street. we finally had to leave when saylor couldn't keep it together any longer, he fell asleep 5 minutes into our ride home and i put him to bed as soon as we got home-at 6:20! haha.
i was thankful to have colin here this year because he wasn't home for thanksgiving last year. but i actually totally forgot that until colin said something about it. it's funny how the years blur together.
i think the best part of the week was my friends heather and christina getting engaged! [i mean, not to each other]. heather and christina live together and both knew at some point they would be getting engaged. the funny thing was their men going to buy the ring and arriving at the same jewelry store, at the same time! we all found that pretty funny. so nick proposed tuesday night and seth proposed wednesday morning. SO happy for all of them, can't even explain my heart feelings. they are all four amazing people and we are so beyond excited for them. thank you lord!
alright i have a couple random phone pictures of saylor and leilani...

Friday, November 21, 2008


on tuesday we lost a loved one. i grew up surrounded by people i've known since birth. our mom's were pregnant together and we all grew up in church together. on tuesday teena, mother of cabot, jessie and nicole passed away suddenly from a blood clot in her lung. i don't get it. the pain and the shock is doubled because their amazing father died in a motorcycle accident just two years ago. the pain of losing him was so intense. and now..this week..these were wonderful people who loved Jesus and fiercely loved their friends and family. i don't want to write every detail,i don't want to exploit their situation. but it's just one of those times where you just want to be mad at God. WHY why would you allow this Lord. they need their just doesn't make sense. and i know not much makes sense in this life... and i know tragedy hits us all.... i'm just tired of seeing things like this happen. it hurts. and it make me anxious and it really makes it hard for me to trust that the Lord wants good for us. that's always been hard for me to believe or to pray about. (reading 'the shack' really hit me in a personal way regarding those feelings).
services this weekend, prayers are appreciated. especially for the kids, their family. the holidays are going to be hard.i know the ache i feel is 1000 times more severe for them. please pray that they would somehow feel Jesus in this. and that they will lean on him. i don't think they could process this otherwise...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

rockin' the thriftin'

a few of us ladies hit up ohio thrift this morning. i haven't gone thrifting in awhile and was doubting my ability to find anything. i was fortunately with some people that seriously knew what they were doing, and i scored a jacket, tee, and a fantastic purse just because they held it up to me. and i grabbed. i don't always trust myself to find those sweet finds that people manage to find... but this store was great, chock full of amazing things. i am quite excited about my suitcase

three dollars! it's in perfect condition too. and i love these sailboat earrings too

we just got home from a friend's house and put saylor down for bed at a record late time of 10 pm. when he was a baby he slept everywhere. on people's floors, beds and then packnplays and cribs. when he started refusing to do that we often just put him to bed at one of our parent's house and then went out. now we are excited that occasionally we can just keep him up late. there was a couple other toddlers there to keep him company and he was perfect! i am so proud of him. part of me is like crap he needs to be in bed! and the other part was in awe of how well he played and behaved. and fortunately for us he still loves bedtime. so we put his jammies on before we left then when we got home we kissed him and rocked him for about 15 seconds then lay him down! aaaah i love him. we will see when he wakes up.... the past few days he has been back to his waking up happy around 8ish playing and i've been able to keep him in there until close to 9. yay... i am not even going to think about how things will change when we move him into a bed....gonna use that crib as long as he'll stand it.
i am SO in love with christmas music. it brings me a ridiculous amount of peace and comfort. i also feel a stupid amount of comfort from the red starbucks cups.
other things i'm loving this week- saylor happily going to the nursery tonight!!!, $1.69 gas, 30 rock, my husband's art he's been working on, gilmore girls, sweatpants...AND this website i found [through relevant mag]- it's great! any books, movies, cd's or games you own and are willing to trade? this is a trading website. you pay shipping and that's it. you tell them what you have and thousands of options pop up that you can trade for! i am all about it.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

am i an overreacter?

i really try to be calm and not spaz- like if i bang my foot and it's searing pain i try to remain silent or if i break a glass i laugh instead of general i try to be this way... i think? and in general i think i am pretty chill with my son. se la vie, so be it, ah he's gonna get dirty anyway, so what if the popsicle drips all over him.
on the other hand. i think i have overreacted when he is sick. when he was a brand new baby we trekked him to the doctor one time because his nose was stuffy...and another time because of a rash. that all babies get but i swear his was 'really bad'. i totally don't feel like i'm one of those moms, but maybe i am!? i don't freak out or get all nervous, but i do feel like i may as well have someone else look at it and tell me what they think.
when he was six months old he started this weird head shaking tic thing. it was very scary-sortof looked like a seizure. and we took him to the emergency room and all the doctors saw it and were intrigued but not too concerned-but were trying to watch their backs as they weren't entirely sure. so he had a cat-scan AND an overnight stay at children's that included a late night EKG. AND an MRI. we were nervous parents and crazy thankful that we could say it was 'nothing'. yet embarrassed at the same time in a weird way. now if a doctor sees it on his charts i have to explain, no it was just a weird tic thing,mumble mumble.
this past summer colin's mom was going down the slide with him and his foot twisted back. he cried and cried and his foot swelled and was bruised. he was ok but he wouldn't walk. so of course we go to the doctor for x-rays. they don't find anything so we keep waiting and he still isn't walking. the doctor wants to see him again and realizes the x-rays weren't thorough enough. more x-rays! he is ok. the boy didn't walk for TWO weeks. i can't explain how weird that is. in a way it was easier to watch him. he was totally at the run-every-which-way-and-must-touch-everything-age so it was weird/funny to go to a friends house or starbucks and just have him sit patiently and play. but it was sad too and when he started walking again he was wobbly and limping for awhile!
back to what i'm saying. do i overdo the doctor thing? there have been other appts. for an ear infection and fevers as well... this morning saylor woke up at 5:45am crying and screaming. he had a little fever last week and still has a runny nose and cough. colin wasn't home and i could not console saylor. he wasn't out of it-rock me to sleep mama-he was in pain. he was crying nonstop for over an hour.and as i had planned to have ella today i didn't want to wait and make a doctor appointment, plus his doctor is a good half hour away. so i headed to ER again [about 5 minutes away]. fortunately i got in immediately. fortunately the doctors loved him [and were loving his name, a-thankyou]. fortunately they couldn't find anything significant, he is fine. again i feel a little silly. but i guess i err on the safe side. but i'm sure with subsequent children i will do this less.
poor saylor's throat is sore we think that's why he was crying so much. it's hard because he tries to tell me but much of his 'talking' isn't coherent yet. pointing at the throat a lot got the point across.
YAY for-
christmas music! hot apple cider! scarves! blankets! soup! christmas music!!!
this is one of my favorite 'songs'. it is my ringtone on one of my friend's phones.

also i love puppets. a lot.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

sleep less, stack more,buy an ornament

ever since our pennsylvania trip, saylor has been sleeping less. i can't complain as before he was sleeping more than the average toddler his age [13-14 during the night, plus a 2-4 hour nap!] the other huge difference is he used to wake up and play for awhile in his crib. so we'd hear him around 8:30 or so but could easily leave him in there till 9 as he was just laughing and talking to his stuffed animals. now he wakes up whining. althooo a couple weeks ago he was waking up screaming and now it's just quiet whining. i think that's progress. and the wakeup times are around 7:15. [keeping in mind we put him down at about 7. sometimes even 6:50 or so! so he's still sleeping 12+ hours] and his naps around about hour and 45 minutes [although the one time he was sleeping longer than two hours i had to wake him up to go somewhere! are you kidding.] but again i think he is starting to nap longer as when we first got home his naps were only an hour or so. i know this isn't interesting but i like to have it noted and i know with the next kid i'm going to wonder 'how did saylor sleep at this age?' not that i'm pregnant now! i do keep talking about the 2nd child, but the little hamster does not exist yet. colin keeps saying he wants a second one now and he's just waiting for my ok.... so ya i'm thinking about it more! but not ready just yet.
anyhow i kept hoping saylor would fall back into his old fantastic sleep schedule when colin came home. but then we had the time change, and then he got sick, so there are all sorts of things against us. so we will see...
i am doing something called the great ornament exchange. you know you wanna get in on this! click the box and join the party!

saylor loves to stack! here's a couple pictures but it doesn't do it justice because he can stack twice as high. i love finding little towers, he stacked candles the other day, with a car on top of course.

Thursday, November 6, 2008 me

nice as my phone is, it can't hold a lot of texts and my inbox is constantly '100% full'.... threatening me, forcing me to erase, here are a couple ones that i always laugh at and couldn't bear to erase... maybe if i've got it written down somewhere i'll get the nerve.

from colin in june,while hoh was at a show- he is quoting stephen baldwin
best quote so far...'are you guys stoked about this ministry or what? cuz if not, i may have to slay your ass in the spirit'

from beth in august
my husband just bought BRIGHT RED LOAFERS. they look like they are womans shoes from talbots for crying out loud. he got them so he could wear them WITH SHORTS...WITHOUT SOCKS. and he is NOT JOKING. we are currently not speaking

from colin in august,while hoh was at a show in chicago
so we pull up to the venue and aj says 'this area looks sweet, i bet there's some cool stuff on this street'. 2 seconds later we look down the road and there's a store called 'Cool Stuff'

and this one from jayme talking about how she waited in line for 7 hours! to vote
yah,to top if off, me n john got stuck in line with a crazy cat lady showing us pics of her 3 legged cat and tried to get us into a pyramid scheme selling bracelets that heal the body thru holograms. and she also asked me to come to our wedding and she'll do my makeup cuz shes also a mary kay rep. was a long day!

only she would end up in a line next to a crazy bracelet hologram mary kay 3 legged cat lady. haha! these all may very well only be amusing to me, but that's ok. i feel free to delete them from my phone now.

last night colin and i went to dinner at Alana's, a recommendation from friends of ours. fantastic! i can't even adequately explain the vibe and the food but i think all my columbus friends should check it out. [its at 2333 north high st right next door to the taj mahal restaurant]. it's intimate yet casual in a way, alana herself walks around handing out samples..the menu changes weekly,often daily. [i just went to their website and she has a new menu up from last night] which makes it hard because you want to try everything on the menu! we spent over two hours there and a lot of money on some crazy deliciousness.colin and i have been wading the waters of vegetarian...ism. we haven't had meat for awhile, but we did have some last night! [we are mostly staying away from meat that isn't organic and that is processed and full of...crap. we knew alana's meat would be quality] one of my favorite things we tried was this chicken basteeya- dark meat chicken in phyllo sprinkled with powdered sugar with like...cumin and cinnamon, i don't even know but it was like a chicken dessert. i don't even like dark meat and i have never tasted something so luscious...and an extensive wine list to boot. yum!!
i am glad the election drama is over! i am nervous about how these next years will play out as i did not vote for obama, but i do celebrate that we have a half african american president. half, 1/8, black, mixed, whatever- he is handsome there's no denying that! much more that is thought about but at the end of the day [and the beginning and in between] i serve christ alone so there's peace in that.

Monday, November 3, 2008

happy november

i'm really not a big music person.well i love music but i don't exactly seek it out. i don't own cds or an ipod, i'm never on itunes.colin is always playing amazing music in our house and i listen to it and there are some musicians/bands that i absolutely love. but i am it is a huge compliment [from me] if a band house of heroes is touring with captures my attention. i usually don't even stay in the room to listen to them play, unless they are friends of ours...but i have really enjoyed watching LUDO perform this is i think the 3rd band that has really made me stop and go waaaait. this is fun! [other two being family force 5 and love arcade- of course.these bands are all gimmicky in a way.they dance, they dress up.. i like]. i think it says alot if you keep wanting to watch even though you've never heard the songs before.and even if you saw the same set the night before..
here is the ludo music video of the one song in particular that i like-

i LOVE it! the lyrics are seriously brilliant. this song could be in a this video and try to not get it in your head.
looking forward to voting, then colin coming home, then on wednesday is our 4 year anniversary! [go us!]
there are a couple little side streets i pass on the way to my mom's house that amuse me every time i notice them... first being stoner alley. stoner alley! and the second houghoon alley. now how does one pronounce that?!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

my son as a mouse

i mean seriously.saylor as a mouse, it's so fantastic.

look at how it sticks out all chubbs around his hips i love it!
i've been so fortunate to have borrowed many-a-clothes from my friend jenny, who has a son a couple years older than saylor. last year saylor's sweet octopus costume was from them but this year auggie's fireman costume was already loaned out. today we went to a church party thing called 'trunk or treat' and kids got candy from the trunks of people's cars. there was also a bunch of food, games, slides,etc.oh and the firetruck that saylor is on there. and of course this friday is halloween/trick-or-treat. i'm actually going to cleveland to see my husband but my mom wants to take saylor around her block. SO crunch time i needed a costume.i popped into target yesterday and decided to check out their costumes. mostly $30-40. but on one end they had a tiny little sale section. mostly infant costumes.and this big ol' toddler mouse costume! $14 and i swear it was the best costume there tonight. and many agreed- children and adults kept cooing over him and a few said it was their favorite costume.a-thank-you it kept him warm! now i say it is a unisex costume but i will admit about 8-10 people said 'she's so cute'. there was one other child there that was actually wearing the same mouse and i'm not sure if it was a boy or girl! but i'm thinking girl.i think it's a boy type costume but whatever.i'm still in love with it and i could not get ENOUGH of his little fluffy tush with the's his backside- him and emily.she was cinderella but did not last too long in her outfit.sarah took this picture only of the front of them, which is likely cuter but oh well.

i want him to wear this costume all the time until he grows out of it. so if you see me at trader joe's or church or somin' and i'm carrying a big mouse.. it probably won't be because saylor begged to wear it, it'll be because i made him wear it.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

soup is comfort

my whole week has been watching gilmore girls and eating soup, with some hang time with friends and family here and there.

sometimes i get on a kick with food and i eat it everyday. [my english muffin thing started when saylor was born and i still eat one every single day.] i'll get on something and have it every day for like 6 months...or 2 years...then one day i'm over it. other food/drink ive been mildly obsessed with---
popcorn [from the stove.every day]
a can of diet cream soda [to which i now say gross!]
sugar free jello
all natural crunchy peanutbutter [ever present]
sugar free creamsicles
and my starbucks drinks are as follows:
sugarfree vanilla nonfat latte
sugarfree hazelnut nonfat extra hot latte
iced coffee with nonfat milk and two splenda
chai tea with the tea bags, splenda and splash o'milk
americano, splash of cream and splenda
pregnant, hated coffee- iced soy milk with a pump of mocha
soy extra extra hot latte
and NOW it is coffee with a little cream.
what is YOUR starbucks drink history? :)
very odd i am i totally had forgotten about those creamsicles.of course now i very much avoid fake sugar so i don't do the splenda, sugar-free or dietness but i digress. soup,good. gilmore girls...beyond good.
carved some pumpkins last night with friends.colin tried to join in on i-chat but it wasn't the same.

one of my best-friend-since-birth's mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer. it's really hard for me to even write that, she's not just my 'friend's mom'... i love her so much, she's my mother's best friend...she is family to me. they are hopeful and going forth with attacking this thing and getting rid of it asap. please please pray for her and her family. they are a pretty incredible family!!! i love you doyles!
also this afternoon saylor and i were snuggling on the couch and i started singing a worship song 'lord prepare me, to be a sanctuary'. and he lifted his arms in worship. no joke. he knew what he was doing. so i kept singing and i would lift my hand and then he would and we worshipped together and it was pretty awesome.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

counting days till colin's home

well we made our trek to PA and back with the schnecks and it was a success! i seriously can't believe we did it but i'm so glad we did and it was lots of fun. i think if you picture a trip with a child or two it seems daunting and overwhelming but you just gotta DO it and and play it by the hour and just make it work.i think both our children were better than we thought they'd be.there was definitely less sleep-naps were rare, sleeping in the same room as them wasn't easy,but considering that they were even better behaved my gosh! shoot. we were excited to go to NYC on a day off but it did not happen because the night before the van we were driving got broken into.only the GPS charger was taken for some reason they grabbed that and not the camera or dvd player that was sitting there.but we spent the morning fixing a window and not in NYC. oh well. next time, eh?! but we enjoyed time with each other and time with our husbands and it was so worth it. saylor loved watching colin play the drums. he was so mesmorized that it almost weirded me out, like he was in a trance! he loves music, and he loves drums, whaddya figure.i genuinely like being 'on the road' with colin, always have. and it looks different with a child but i still like it and i'd do it all the time if i could..
and i'm still trying to take pictures more and it just doesn't happen i only take random pictures of saylor on my phone. but colin did get a cute one of the boys in the tub.

i just cannot get over how flippin' handsome little liam is.i think he is one of the most beautiful babes i've ever seen! so ya-gap,regis and kelly baby contest... go for it liam, you've got my vote anyway!
took a trip to a pumpkin farm yesterday and i got some fun pictures but i'm not on my comptuer yet [we are STILL waiting for the mac to arrive.but thankful they upgraded us to a new/better version.and thankful we got a %25 employee no complaining. but i stole a friend's computer today i think i'm getting desperate.] anyhow i'll put more pictures up later.
and now, less than two weeks until i will see colin which is not bad at all.i know the days are going to be long being a 'single mom'... saylor probably won't eat as well and will watch more tv than normal and i likely won't get dressed or even showered on some of these days, just bein' honest. but we will make it and i am so grateful for friends and family that are willing and able to watch saylor from time to time!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

lack of sleep week

i was at colin's parents house today and colin's dad mark said 'hey michelle, why does this bother you?' and he folds his ear. EEEK! he then said he was reading my blog. this sums mark up pretty well to me- a couple years ago we were both just standing in the kitchen and he goes ''s your sex life?' fortunately i can handle such frank-ness i find it amusing/hilarious and it's pretty much how i am too so i can roll with it. i love colin's family dearly and i'm so happy to be a rigsby.
enjoying their grandson this afternoon

tomorrow saylor and i are embarking on a trip to pennsylvania with lindsay to visit the husbands and have some family time and hangout time. we don't know how exactly it's going to play out but we are going to make it work and hopefully our children will go with the flow! i woke up this morning feeling sick and saylor had a crusty/runny nose. so i've been praying out loud a lot today and asking others to do so too. and i'm going to believe that jesus is healing me. also i'm taking zicam and drinking lotsa tea.
so cool! he prefers to wear my sunglasses over his own.

seriously two weeks ago they were fighting and couldn't share and then last week i had dinner at sarah's house and we were just chatting [ok i was making fun of sarah for letting herself get talked into giving money to come people who came to her door talking about coal and water or something] and suddenly we realized our children were laughing. together. playing. getting along. so we took videos and enjoyed the moment then it happened again two days later at her birthday party. they played. they loved on each other. now here they are on their way to eat. i was in cincinnati and sarah sent me this picture and said they kept holding hands! they walked out of the restaurant holding hands! people often think they are twins.

munki hasn't been spotlighted in awhile but here's our kitty we still love her. most of the time. she was hoping colin would pack her and take her with him.

p.s. saylor is still calling me bobby. i'm starting to love it though of course can't wait for mommy. sometimes he can halfway get it and say mobby. i'll go 'say mouse' 'bouse!' 'say mmm-ouse' 'mouse' 'yay, say mommy!' and he goes 'mobby!' 'yay!' then two seconds later 'bobby! bobby!' so i'm bobby it's cool. bob.

also- YES

love the video, hadn't heard of adventconspiracy before but now i'm off to learn more about it!!!

Sunday, September 28, 2008


ok haven't had a computer for a few days and i'm going a little crazy..will have one wednesday YAY.and now here i am with a small fraction of a second while i try to look for hotels...and ill take this little second and write a pointless blog. good times.

i've been tagged by lindsay!
Here are the rules:
1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking to them
5. Leave a comment for each tagged blogger to let them know they've been tagged.

1. i have a weird grossed out fear of people folding their ears or mine. it's like nails on a chalkboard it totally freaks me out. too many of my family and friends know this and like to try to bend my ear or fold theirs when i'm looking. and it's not funny people. i'm also grossed out by milk that has been out of the fridge for longer than about four seconds.

2. i constantly put my thumb between my index and middle fingers like i'm signing the letter T. i do this ALL the time it's a security feeling. but here's the thing, i never did this until i got pregnant. i don't know how it's related but it started then and i do it all the time now. also when i got pregnant i started to like dogs whereas before i didn't care so much for them. i'm assuming that's somehow a maternal thing.

3. my phone is with me sits in my lap when i drive and on the table when i eat, i'm one of those people. it's never fully charged and i currently have 759 pictures on there and 187 videos

4. i have water with me all the time. often it is a ice venti starbucks cup. if i somehow forget water,first thing i do when i enter a building is get water, even at church. i do drink more water than most people but often i don't drink water i bring, i just need it there.

5. sometimes, all the sudden,i think about carbon monoxide. and if i'm home i open the window a smidge and if i'm in the car i'll open the window a smidge. this, i realize, would not do much of anything but at that moment it brings relief to my irrational mind.

6. i just texted a couple people and asked them whats something weird/quirky thing about me... then i realized that is pretty quirky. i do this a lot- i'm indecisive and also pretty unaware of myself so when people ask me something about myself i let someone else answer. 'whats your favorite color' 'hmm. i don't know.. colin, whats my favorite color?'
my sister wrote back one word 'paw'. this is because apparently i use my hands when i talk and i keep the whole palm together when i'm pointing or whatever and for years she has pointed it out. i could be talking passionately about something to her and shes nodding and says 'paw' and keeps nodding.sometimes she just calls me paw. but i don't think i make a paw i never notice! she exaggerates, surely.

i'm sure i'll think of plenty of other weird things about me as i feel like i'm the oddest person i to tag others
1. sarah
2. BETH come on!
3. jenny
4. meredith ya?
5. kristin [if you need a distraction/have time love!]
6. um who else reads this :) i'm going to say YOU and make that all inclusive

Saturday, September 27, 2008

gearing up for goodbye

i've been trying to switch over to decaf coffee as i've slowly become quite dependent on the caffeine. i had not a lick of coffee when i was pregnant, couldn't even bear the smell of it. why and how did i manage to get back on this addiction!? gah. so i got a pound of pike place and a pound of decaf pike place and i was slowly adding more decaf grounds to my daily brew. i was finally half regular and half decaf, proud of myself and getting excited to convert completely to decaf when i noticed something. my pound of decaf pike place.. was NOT decaf it is fully CAF. i asked for decaf, i assumed it was decaf, i never glanced to verify [another example of how not-visual i am] even when colin said 'why do we have two pounds of pike place?' i said 'oh, no, one of them is decaf. i'm easing into decaf!' i realized the tragic error the day after i said that. all this time, i'm thinking wow, i'm responding well to this, no crazy headaches, this is great...all this time i was opening both of them, carefully scooping and proportioning... scooping the same caffeinated coffee from two different bags!! now i gotta start the whole process over again.
jenny and i saw a screening of 'orgasmic birth' on thursday night. it was SO good. i feel orgasmic birth explained [a little more than 'the business of being born'] why it is beneficial for mom and baby to have a natural childbirth, and gave a great picture of how beautiful and empowering it can was very thorough and i just wish i could get a copy soon so i can share it with people! it is worth watching i think many people have preconceived notions of midwives/homebirths... this will give a better visual for people i hope. of course it made me very excited for next time around, [as long as me and baby are healthy] i plan to have a natural childbirth,YAY.
colin is leaving in a few days. i kept feeling like he was still here for a couple more weeks but what do you know, it's almost october. i plan to watch the gilmore girls series again when he is gone, adventurous i know. i like to make lists of things to do when he's gone [from cleaning the bathtub to getting new sunglasses, whatever] so feel free to give me ideas to help speed through october. i know! i should make saylor a halloween costume. or maybe just come up with an idea for a costume and then purchase it....

Monday, September 22, 2008

i'm not feelin' the 'celebrity' ballroom dancing.

my sister is trying to get me into dancing with the stars... but i don't think it can top so you think you can dance. doesn't ballroom get old after awhile? i'm willing to watch a bit and see.. i mean, might as well! nothing else is on my no-cable tv. EXCEPT the office comes back next week! yay, looking forward to 30 rock even more. and LOST even more than that.
i went to an ENT doctor today for my ears. and the results were interesting folks. he was very nice and very thorough. this is the best part. the white spots in my left ear? residue from the ear drops a i used a couple weeks ago. are you kidding me, how did my regular doc not figure this out?! and the pain i have now with the sinus pressure/tingling is none other than your good ol'fashioned TMJ [temporomandibular joint disorder]. at first i was unsure of this diagnosis. it seemed like a default fall-back response. the doctor sat and talked with me though and i felt like he answered all my questions. i guess my swollen ear from a couple weeks ago is not related and he said both my ears look very healthy. [thank you garlic? i told him i'd been putting garlic cloves in my ear and he laughed for awhile. he said he knew garlic oil could work but did not know about cloves. but i am used to doctors thinking i do weird things so it was more humorous than anything]. anyhow come to realize from talking with him and further research at home i DO have a ton of symptoms of TMJ!! even the sinus pressure, neck pain and migraines i didn't realize that could be related. i always thought of TMJ more connected with jaw pain but apparently ear pain is common too. and yes they have been clicking/popping when i'm chewing or yawning or even burping but i still wasn't thinking TMJ. all that to say i think he may be correct and all he suggested was a hot compress 20 minutes on my ear, stop chewing gum, go easy on 'hard foods' [my almonds?!] and advil for a few days. we didn't discuss why/how often it flares up except he thinks its not really related to being stressed/tense. there you have it i'm glad i don't have a yeast infection in my ear and i'm bout to heat up a rice sock and see how that works....
saylor hugging a pumpkin and cousin emily at the zoo

and now just to show there are more pictures in my world than saylor a few recent pics that i like
fresh home from brazil-amber made us a casserole!

me in a dress! hoovie and i at matt and april's wedding.

i'm not sure why i like these, one at dinner for colin's birthday,then friends on the couch at irene's baby shower...i just love and treasure my friends so much i guess i like the intimacy it captured. though yes i am kinda giving the finger in second picture.

i swear i'm going to start clicking away at all my amigos and then i'm gonna plaster their faces all over my blog.
on a completely different note, i wanted to post this video. it is sad and i cried, but at the same time it is so beautiful and inspiring. my heart will CHOOSE to say BLESSED be the name of the LORD.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

ears, face and feet randomness.

i don't even know what's going on with my i was given ear drops a couple weeks ago for an infection in my left ear, it was very swollen the doctor said he'd never seen anything like it. i went back to the doc yesterday as the swelling is gone but there is still pain, now in both ears. the doc looks in the left ear and says AGAIN i've never seen anything like this in my life and walks out of the room. COME ON. you cannot do that do an anxious little bird like myself! apparently my right ear has an infection and my left ear has white spots in i googled that and a bunch of websites came up for this problem in HORSES. horses. the doc brings in the same guy as last time for the 2nd opinion and he then says he thinks its a fungus or something and even asks 'what do you do?' i don't know what he was suggesting...i got sick repeatedly a few months ago and was on several different rounds of antibiotics,plus the drops in my ear a couple weeks ago,and too much antibiotics can be bad for the body, killing good bacteria. that was all the doctor could come up with for what this could be. he ends up giving me a prescription for some more ear drops for 2 weeks and if that doesn't work, a pill.that's all he said to me. i asked colin to pick them up and he comes home with just the pill.. for a vaginal yeast infection. indeed. i do not have the prescription for the drops as there was miscommunication to the pharmacy but the pharmacist told me he didn't understand why the doctor would prescribe this, he doesn't think i should take it and it doesn't make any sense....great. my friend B who worked at a pharmacy for years told me that yeast infections are very common when taking antibiotics and can grow anywhere on the body [sorry if this is getting gross for people] she suggested i just take that pill. but when i look up yeast infections in the ear all that comes up is this problem in DOGS! what's going ON!? and for the rare instance it is in people, it lists symptoms that i do not have.i am confused and annoyed and anxious about it all....i may try to go to another doctor this week though i don't know if i can squeeze in an appointment with two kids/no colin. my ears hurt, i am trying not to get too worked up about it but again prayers are appreciated...
i am excited about a great face wash i have found though. it says it's $9 on the link but i swear i got it at trader joe's for $5.50. i always had easy, clear skin. i only washed my face with water and got maybe 2 zits per school year... pregnancy has got me outta whack in many ways and breakouts on my face has been a result. it hasn't been horrible or even that noticeable except to me staring an inch away from the mirror going AAAGGGHH! [this is an honest post today i guess]
but i've tried like 10 different things since saylor's been born... just bar soap,exfoiliating, neutrogena, dove, just water, moisturizing consistently, expensive face wash from whole foods, apple cider vinegar, toothpaste....i don't like using harsh products and i try to buy products that are safe/all natural. i've found it! colin has used tea tree oil in the past i don't know why i didn't think of it sooner. it worked within a few days [though it has dried out my skin a bit so i am starting to use moisturizer again]. i don't know why i felt compelled to write all that but there it is i'm not deleting it now i'm too far in!
ears, face and feet......
i have a new bedtime routine with saylor-after i lay him in bed i do this little piggy. i don't know how it got started but there it is, sometimes i have to do both feet. [and the 3rd little piggy has 'yogurt' instead of 'roast beef' because..we rigsbys love yogurt and have never had roast beef in our house]
so today colin put him down for a nap and for some reason he was not happy about that and started crying off and on. it kept escalating so finally i went in and rocked him. he lay on me and quickly fell asleep and i just kept rocking him for a bit. he was silent and peaceful. i put him in his crib and he did the sigh people do when they're sleeping... and then, eyes still closed- he lifted up his leg! for this little piggy! so i did it real quietly and trying not to laugh and the boy had his eyes closed the whole time. i don't know how funny this without being able to see it but i got quite a kick out of it.. haha, no pun intended! EH!? maybe!? cuz feet kick...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

power out

on sunday there was a crazy wind storm in columbus.
here's a tree at the end of our street

it was a little scary but more fun than anything [although i just read in that article that 3 people died from falling trees. awful] our electricity wasn't out so we had a few people over that were powerless and just as we were starting dinner CH-POW transfusion box [or something] blows and our power goes out. so we ate salads in the dark then played outside, made a little fire in our hibachi grill.

my only concerns for no electricity were our food as we just did a nice $100 trader joe trip on saturday and FANS. saylor has never really slept without a fan. i don't like having routines or objects that we can't be without for bedtime but i did the fan of course in the beginning for the soothing white noise and now only so it blocks out sounds we make. so sunday night i made everyone whisper for about 10 minutes and i seriously thought he wouldn't go down well or something but the kid did not even notice. whaddya figure. our power was out until around noon on monday. again i wasn't sure how ella would do without a fan especially as saylor is still awake running around blaring his loud toys but again the child could care less and went right to sleep. does this mean there is no point in using fans anymore? not at all i will still blast those fans if only for my own sense of security. it is funny because we live on electric ave. i was just amused when i called our company to report our outage and check the status she asked for my address and i'm like '72 electric ave' then i started giggling and the woman starts laughing. then we stopped. then we started laughing of those really not that funny but kinda funny so we kept kinda laughing kinda moments. my mom's fridge kept our food cold for a few hours and we are currently keeping a friend's groceries in our fridge. several of our friends still don't have power, they are saying it will be next week until they get it so we are grateful ours is back. schools and businesses were canceled everywhere and the guys actually have a show canceled tonight due to no power. wind storm ohio 08!
here's a few random videos from my phone, they are pretty blurry so 1.i need to keep my phone still when i do this and 2. really we need to flippin' start using our digital camera that thing is gathering dust, what is our deal?

brett and saylor [saylor wearing his cool soccer outfit colin's parents got him from brazil] i love this because he got this popup toy last christmas when he was 12 months and he could barely push them down let alone figure out how to make them popup.

his latest game he loooves to play 'turn in circles and fall down'.

another one of his favorites-playing drums. is this normal for a toddler to be able to play like this?! i dunno but his love for it is surely unique. *proud mama*

Sunday, September 14, 2008

agh WAH

getting on the internet with a full-time-at-home job with no internet in the home has been few and far between. that sentence did not make sense but you get my point. writing a blog is even harder though of course i have much to say [squirrels! books! weddings! birthdays!] happily, finally, after thorough searching/phone calls/bargaining i've gotten a good deal and we are getting the interent in our home on tuesday.

saylor and ella 'interacting'...haha

giving her a hug and she's suffering through it
the first couple days saylor threw stuff at her head and did not want to share anything. now he says her name when he wakes up- excited to see her and he pets her alot. she is pleasant and easy going so it's been fun. i have yet to venture out with both of them so that's my challenge. colin has been so helpful..and when he leaves i don't even know...i will likely have some severe cabin fever.and feel lonely and desire adult conversation yet not make the effort to get in touch with people...the cycle.. aaah... we will make it! i really should just buy the gilmore girls series perhaps that will see me through october...
i did just buy Lars and the Real Girl and i shall be adding that to my list of favorite movies.SO good!
more thoroughness later....

Sunday, August 31, 2008

win at Ambajam!

check out the blog by Ambajam and enter to win a very snuggly looking blanket or the Help Your Child Sleep Step-by-Step guide by Nicole Johnson.
i am all about that blanket.i have a thing for blankets, I think it's on my top 5 favorite things in this comforting,blankets...i really do not that i keep thinking of michael jackson's child right now.

-currently reading-
twilight series
it's teen fiction but my librarian friend recommended it to me and you can't go wrong with what she likes.i'm really looking forward to the movie, hope it does it justice! i feel like perhaps the movie could be better than the book.we will see.
skinny bitch
just interested in what this book had to say from a nutritionist standpoint and i was completely caught off is all about a vegan diet which i will not do but it is making me want to be a vegetarian,not like i eat much meat anyhow but sheeesh. the book is written in a harsh/attitudy sort of way...i can't decide if i will recommend it to people.
a friend's father who just passed away from cancer wrote about this book in his blog. i am not too far into yet but am enjoying it! it is already reshaping thoughts/perceptions i had about heaven.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

this and that

states i have visited! i didn't count the ones i just drove through, should i? hmm...and yes i do not know all my states or where they are but i think this is accurate. prolly at least %85.and i keep editing/playing around with it..hmm.
thanks for the fun idea mer.
saylor will soon have a buddy to play with all day. [not pregnant!] i'm going to be nanny-ing for my friend's babe for about 6 months or so. i think it will surely be an adjustment but i'm really looking forward to it.she will be playing at my home,and it's full time though her grandparents come in frequently and take care of her so i will have days off.she just turned one and is a cutey pie and i think it will be good for her and for saylor. pictures are sure to come.
i've had this pain in my ear off and on for quite a long time and the past couple days it has gotten worse. i just had an ear infection last month-though this pain is different it mostly hurts just if i touch it. anyhow i decided i should go to the doctor after reading all sorts of stories and getting myself sufficiently nervous. and then the doctor looks and says my ear canal is definitely swollen but it looks like nothing he's seen in the 6 years he's worked and he's going to need a second opinion. WHAAAAAAA...T. i'm starting to tear up and i tell him 'well, that makes me very nervous' and he reassures me that he's fairly certain it's just an infection but he needs help deciding how to treat it. the other guy comes in and they are both quiet and nervousness abounds all over me. they are both nice the new guy talks in crazy medical speak, he actually says to the guy 'i concur'. he said if the meds i get don't help i will come back in and get a head scan or something. but not to worry it's likely nothing serious. i don't have symptoms of it being something more serious but i don't have all the symptoms of just an ear canal infection [which would include redness and pus [gross sorry]] all that to say i have some ear drops now and feel free to pray they heal up my random ear.i'm still a little anxious about the whole thing. oh lordee.
sidenote i feel like we have a lot of friends who are teachers.we understandably have many artist friends of all kinds but it's fun to me to hear all these teacher stories! i'm thinking of 7 people..i'm sure there's more. i of course have made the list of our friends who have worked at starbucks, i should update that-working toward 50 i know we'll hit it! are we sad [stuffwhitepeople]. maybe next i'll make a list of our friends who are hair stylists...again, thinking of 7 i have no excuse for my sad hair....blah!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


last night we went to dinner with b&n. easier said than done, having a toddler. we debated about seeing if we could put him to bed at my parents house first, or whether to go at all… but decided to just take him and hope for the best. we packed lots of toys and it turned out ok… it was hard for me and colin to be objective i think because most of what saylor does it cute to us, not annoying…and we are very used to conversations that start but don’t finish… our friends with kids of course get it and don’t even notice, but I think our friends without kids are pretty gracious about it as well. we were on a patio so he was able to run around a bit, note the highchair he rejected.

beth says she loves that the meals come with a salad. the waiter says ‘would you like the house salad or caeser salad’. i mention how i’m wanting to try every caeser salad in columbus and maybe create a blog and rate the salad…. colin and i get the caeser’s. when we get our bill it is way more than we expected. We didn’t even order drinks and it’s $50. we realize it had to have been the salad’s as it’s noted on the bill and i guess the waiter said ‘an upgrade' to the Caesar. are you kidding me. i am very confrontational, in a nutshell. so I go to look for our waiter and tony himself [the restaurant is called tony’s] stops me and asks if he can help me. there is a bad air about him that i sensed right away. i said we didn’t understand why our bill was so expensive and he opens a menu and said if i even looked at the menu i should know what to expect. the entrees say it comes with a house salad. and in the salad section it said the caesar salad was $6. we paid $12 for a little salad before our meals?!? i told him our waiter asked which salad we preferred and said that’s confusing to people. he just had this indescribable rude smug look on his face, like i was nothing to him. i said you should not have your waiters ask which salad we want as if they are the same. he again said i should read the menu and that’s all there is to it and then he said if i misunderstood that was MY problem. i said NO, that’s not right. i am your customer and you are serving the customer. and i told him that was completely inappropriate. i was so infuriated!! i can't even explain how beyond rude he was, making it obvious he did not care about me in the least. i went back outside and our waiter came out and i told him i was upset about the charge and HE starts saying how shady tony is and how they are trained to specifically offer the salad that way and how he gets jipped on his hours on paychecks and how he's not payed enough i mean what? why are you working there buddy? i definitely cried for a few seconds in the car. i'm over it now but i have to give that caesar salad, though tasty, the lowest possible rating. a ZERO. you hear me tony?! ZERO! we went to jeni's ice cream after and that lifted my spirits a bunch because i think jeni's ice cream may be the best ice cream in the world. also we went out to dinner to celebrate nick earning some money from drawing on an etch-a-sketch. i love our friends.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


Snowville Creamery now has their milk at whole foods! I have been driving to giant eagle solely for this milk that I discovered a few months ago. I think it is the best milk that can be bought at a store. come to find out colin's bro jared has been buying it too and from whole foods.yaaay! i didn't realize it was there now too.i just wrote them an e-mail telling them how grateful i am for their milk. is that weird? quite possibly.
saylor has started sleeping in till 9:15 or so again, and before he was just waking up around 8:15-8:45.we still put him down around 7. i love that he loves to sleep! i am at my mom's house right now and he and emily are actually playing...and, holding my breath- getting along. they had a fight a few minutes ago where emily grabbed his paci and he retaliated [maybe the first time he's defended himself?] and threw a block at her head. no saylor! all is well for the moment.
at the park the other day-saylor is loving basketball lately.

right now

the other night at church. saylor is the cool kid that gets to get on stage and play drums just like his daddy and grandude. and he runs right up there as soon as i get him from sunday school. [nursery? sunday school? at what age do i start saying sunday school? haha]
amusing tidbit- my in-laws are in brazil at the moment and colin and i have stayed at their house a couple times cuz... well if you've been there, you know. its like a vacation house. so.... i leafed through judy's closet and have been wearing her clothes! whaddya know, her jeans fit me perfectly.. i've been enjoying telling people 'this is my mother-in-law's outfit'. she's got some cute clothes!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

not fishing, just venting

going through another 'season' of sadness.i've got the blues.finally can't deny it after i look at our dirty carseat and my first thought is 'im a failure i can't even keep things clean' and i burst into tears. i am certainly familiar with anxiety but my feelings as of late are more sadness and this huge stamp of insecurity [with a crazy dose of indecisiveness].i'm a people pleaser and i don't want anyone going out of their way for me so this is not helpful come time of me crying and wanting someone to talk to.i have so many wonderful girlfriends who i know would listen but it's hard for me to just let go and let it all out and when i try it feels halted and sounds all my girls who have cried to me please know i respect you for it and appreciate that you value me to confide to me...
oooh i should so see a counselor.
i think one of the reasons God put me and colin together was to force me to be more independent.i grew up surrounded by girls i've known since birth and we always did everything together.those friendships changed and i got married to a guy who travels alot. ive had to get used to going to parties...weddings,funerals..alone.very unnatural for me.and i am still not good at initiating. i hestitate to call even some of my closest girlfriends. so anyone who has been in a lonely funk understands that after awhile you feel so cabin-feverish and alone yet at the same time you don't feel like going anywhere or making an effort to do anything.having children thrown into this is a whole other factor. people pleaser as i shift my schedule and cart around my son and say it's no big deal when it is, insecurity as i don't feel like a good mother in people's eyes or self-conscious when they can tell i'm stressing out.the lonliness that i think is natural with a SAHM..then thoughts of wanting more children but being afraid of losing myself more...
AAALLL this being said, i feel good to write it out [i need to talk it out]and as i always tell my other friends with their junk,you are NORMAL.this is life! i had a mom friend tell me many times it's normal to ____ -wanna scream at your child, feel sad about missing out on things because you have children,feel like you don't know who you are, miss how your marriage used to be...honesty is healthy, and life just sucks sometimes-its a broken place, only temporary anyhow.
above all this is the Lord.. the spiritual realm that we are so unaware of, i believe plays a huge factor in these things. when i am feeling so low i just want to wallow and cry and i feel like i literally have to give it to God. literally let go and why do i want to hold onto it? its a weird feeling. but i'm grateful i have Him, and i need more of him..less of me....
rocking my sleepy son 10 times longer than normal is a good remedy...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

it's true

kinda funny! i just heard of this guy i'll have to watch him some more...

Monday, August 11, 2008


awesomefest was a success! well actually i failed at it a bit but the fest itself was wonderfully pulled off. we arrived at 5:45am after only a couple hours sleep the night before [colin had a show and didn't get home until 2am]. there were 16 people doing the bike ride.i was prepared to trail behind but did not know i would wuss out and not be able to do it all! i was feeling ok, just couldn't breathe very well from stupid asthma and maybe the fact that i didn't really train at all,ahem.. we had a quick water stop about a 1/3 of the way in and i felt so dizzy and thought i was going to throw up.i definitely felt a little embarassed but there was nothing but love from people. that's when i notice the difference with our friends who know Jesus. they were so considerate of my feelings,making sure i was ok. i had to make a decision quick whether i kept riding or stopped and certainly it was awkward as they took effort to stuff my bike into the car of the water-people...then i got in the car with two people i barely knew. oh but it makes me laugh now. they rode another 10 miles and we met up with them again and i finished the last 10 miles or so! so i did about half of it and a guy looked at my bike and said 'you know you have terrible tires for this ride.' i was the only one with the thick mountain bike type tires [borrowed the bike from my mother in law, what do i know?!] he said having better tires makes a significant difference and i was working twice as hard and he hoped that made me feel better. it did. nick kept saying the real hard part of this all was watching all 6 Rocky movies. I loved them though! not gonna lie, i cried at the end of the second one 'yo adrian! i did it!' [fun trivia-adrian-talia shire- is jason schwartzman's mother! who knew? colin did]... didn't get to catch the 6th and most recent one though as we were getting tattooed. will have to rent it.

not a fan of my legs here but it's the angle, eh? yay awesomefest 2008!!! good people, good food..good silent auction, great tattoos.. good times. my hubs!!

me and aunt B being goofy

went to michigan yesterday with the guys for a show. i got to spend some QT with my sister steph and my dad and nancy.
they watched saylor while steph and i went to the show.

i think they look alike!
saylor got to spend some time with cousin leilani too, who just turned 4. it was so fun to see them together! he followed her around and did what she told him to. makes me see how a second child will be easier in that sense- you can let the two kids play together and the older one looks after the younger one.

saylor did SO well on the trip! and the guys enjoyed him as well, he was one of the boys. our only snag was colin forgetting to pack the packnplay. aagh! i was prepared to just buy one at target then return it the next day but my sister noticed a neighbor of hers had kids and she kindly asked the stranger if she had a packnplay and if so could she borrow it. and the woman named bethany said yes. how nice! steph has lived there barely a month too so i think that's very kind of bethany. i wrote her a thank-you card. and saylor slept in the packnplay, in steph's closet till a lovely 9am so we were very pleased!