Sunday, January 31, 2010

sleeping

things are really rough right now, but we are thankful for the lord's love and guidance and we trust that we are following him...but still our hearts ache. but i don't feel like writing about that. i was realizing how neurotic i am when it comes to sleeping... well ok when it comes to a lot of things, but my sleep routines are so odd and OH how i love sleep. all these things have accumulated over the years and here is what my nights look like now....
fan has to be on low, baby monitor has to be on so i can hear it, but not too loud. constantly adjusting the volume. cover the monitor with a black sock because it glares light and i need it as dark as possible in the room. i always, of course, pee/brush teeth... then a few more minutes of reading or whatever, then i pee again and peek in on saylor. though if i get caught up in the book/movie for more than 5 minutes i have to pee/peek in on saylor again... sometimes this will happen 3 or 4 times... feels OCD. finally going to sleep i start on my right side, then flip to my left... if i can't fall asleep it goes again.. right side [snuggle with colin] then back to left... here's where it gets weird- i can't hear or feel my heartbeat. so if my arm is across my chest and i feel it i'll have to move. even weirder- i can hear it pulse in the ear on the pillow sometimes. so i'll have to scoot my head off the pillow so my ear isn't on it so i won't hear the heartbeat. the side up ear i'm also neurotic with. i can't have it exposed to air so i have to have a blanket cover it, or at least my hair. i also have to have something touching my mouth- usually a blanket. currently i am literally snuggling with our sheet- it's balled up and i hold it to my mouth when i sleep. yet my nose needs to be completely free of anything close to it so i can breathe easily. on top of that i have chronic neck/back pain. the neck is always an issue at night, i'm still looking for a decent pillow. so there's constant folding of the pillow, adding blanket and moving around to make my neck semi-comfortable. once i finally am still i find i start itching, so annoying/crazy. so then i'm itching all over and trying to ignore that. and now of course, being pregnant i've got the belly... i usually would sleep on my stomach and now i've got to side angle it...
i also have to have on my nightstand- tissues, chapstick, water and an earplug. if i wake up to someone getting ready and can't fall back asleep i put an earplug in the 'side up' ear.
in addition- my hands can't touch my face at all, i wake up at least in the middle of the night to pee, i have to bobby pin my bangs off my face, i'd rather be cold than hot [only when sleeping that is], and i often shake my foot or leg to relax...
and i'm sure there's more. it's just so funny because i love to sleep and i do all this without even thinking, the only thing that's frustrating is trying to make my neck comfortable.
i'm sure i'm not unique though and i know everyone has their own sleep routines... so funny...
poor colin putting up with my getting up to pee all the time then tossing and turning....my only hope is that with age i'll care less instead of getting more particular!

Friday, January 1, 2010

happy new year!

2010!!! so weird. so people born in 1992 will be 18 this year. aaa-whaaa?
i am almost 20 weeks preg and feeling good. she moves around a lot, i'm looking forward to being able to feel her on the outside of my belly! i think i felt her kick with my hand yesterday...prolly a couple more weeks..
saylor is in a BED! we did it after colin came home from his christmas tour, about a week before christmas... saylor was nervous, and yes i cried. he loved his crib so there was that part of me that was like 'why do this?! we should let him stay in there as long as he wants.' but the other part knew this is part of growing up and spreading your wings a little. our son is quite cautious and sensitive, so things like this will usually take encouraging and a bit of gentle pushing.. so the first night we started bedtime around 6:45 and talked it up and took our time... around 7:20 i began trying to convince him and he kept saying it was scary. so finally i just said 'i will hold you and you tell me when you're ready'.. so we stopped talking and just snuggled in the dark and finally at 7:45 he was ready and he curled up in his little butt-in-the-air ball and i walked out and was nervous all night.. he's never one to wake up in the middle of the night... but i didn't know if he'd wake up at 6am crying or something...we have a video monitor so i of course woke up around 7:50 and stared at it... he finally woke up and just started reading a book, as per usual... and so it has been ever since! when we walk in there he hops out, but he has not tried to get out on his own...yet. everyone tells me 'oh my child was like that too...at first' it seems most kids finally realize 'hey, i can get outta here on my own'.. selfish part of me is not looking forward to that, on the other hand we need to potty train him during bedtime so that will require at some point him getting out of bed to go to the bathroom...
anyway good to know he's doing great. so even when things are hard for child and parent... it's good to push through, you then realize it's not as hard as you imagined.
christmas was fun, he now knows the concept of gifts and talks about santa and sang christmas songs all month... tried to incorporate jesus into there too, of course. but he was great and it's heart melting and sweet and fun to give your child something and have them be so overwhelmed and excited and thankful..and this is for like.. a slinky from the target dollar bin..ha :) all the grandparents got him great gifts that are keeping him happy and busy these days.
we had an interesting new year. there's this art collective group thing called wild goose creative- they have this space and host things like cooking classes, art swaps, improv nights... fun stuff. so for the new year they had some performers [including our buddy john reuben] and our friends had some art on display.. i was excited to go and bummed that i was disappointed. the art was great and my favorite thing was that most of our friends were there...however it was SO loud. am i an old lady? perhaps. SO loud, no chairs! at all! and only bathroom was a port potty outside. there were a couple other pregnant mama's there and they managed ok so i don't wanna complain.. but i definitely sat on a cooler for awhile. and asked colin if we could leave at like 10:30 [and it started at 9]... we held out till midnight, and i'm glad, just because we got to 'ring it in' with our close friends... i was just bummed i was surrounded by such great people and any sort of talking required yelling..so no one could really talk. decided that i do enjoy concerts and dancing.. but not for new years... i think i prefer dinner and good face time with my loved ones!! anyway here's a couple pictures

should have stood to the side and held my belly so you could see it better :) me and our roommate alicia. loves.

our friend christen is an illustrator and she made this crazy squid painting for photos.. naturally! loved it...