Thursday, June 14, 2012

birth of caspian sage adventure

it's hard to describe the beauty and emotion of this whole night...i would use the words fun, easy, funny, love, peace, joy, caspian. :)
after losing mucus plug friday and a false alarm saturday, i was ready and waiting but still trying to tell myself it could be days away... however i had in my head that i might have him by the 11th?! and midwife apprentice michelle had blurted out to kathy the midwife 'i think michelle's gonna have her baby this weekend!'  haha a couple other people thought i would have him this weekend too so.. game on!
every couple hours or so on sunday i would have a contraction. just felt like a stronger braxton hicks, with slight cramping. [which that and the plug/false alarm is almost an answer to prayer as we hoped i would have a little forewarning and not be slammed with a fast labor out of nowhere]. we went about our day and around 9-10pm i noticed they were starting up again and staying so i started timing them. i texted michelle a little after 10 to let her know but said i was going to try to sleep in case they fizzled out. i told her they were making me want to 'squeeze things' but they weren't unbearable by any means and since they were so spaced out i felt perfectly fine between them and that was weird for me, made me doubt it was labor because i never really had a break between contractions with my last labor. and with a 10+ minute break i thought well shoot it's just gonna fizzle out. i called kathy about 11:15 to let her know and said they were still 8-10 minutes apart but then the contractions would last an entire minute plus,and i had one that was two minutes long. she said sometimes in early labor the contractions are longer, she said to wait a half hour and call her back. well i thought shoot i'm not gonna call her back in 30 minutes. i'm going to wait as long as possible and try to sleep. which is funny logic because we assumed this labor would be fast and kathy is about 40 minutes from my house i don't know why my mind suddenly was like trying to wait until the last second. but i just didn't want to call too soon and jump the gun or whatever. so i tried to lay back down for a bit and then i put in my contacts-acknowledging this may it :) and i got in the shower. it felt great but i didn't want to waste time in the shower, wanted to save it for when i needed it or some weird logic like that. so i got out and walked around a bit more, just timing contractions. when i would feel them they felt intense but then in between them i felt great! i finally called kathy back at 12:22 and said 'well they are about 5 minutes apart now lasting 40-50 seconds' and she said 'ok honey we are on our way' and again i felt like oh ok ok! hope they don't fizzle out! so then i called my mom and let her know but said i had long breaks between them so wondered if my labor would be longer. i tried to plan for her to take the kids if i didn't have him by 6 or 7am. michelle arrived quickly and she checked baby's heart. i told her and colin i wanted my friends there but i didn't want to see them [jayme and amber came and came upstairs in time to see me push him out!] michelle later told me she knew things were going quickly along because i said that. i was already internally focused with contractions. michelle was quiet and began setting things up. it was nice she wasn't all over me she just let me be. i was quiet for a couple contractions and then said i think i wanted [needed!] to get in the shower. she said i can do whatever i want. so i got in the shower and let it run over my belly during a contraction that. felt. GREAT. i started singing worship 'how great is our god' came to my head and i genuinely was able to raise my hands and worship. i stayed in there for awhile and started to feel a little nauseous but thought it could be because i was just getting hot in the shower. the contractions felt strong but my whole body felt relaxed and i was optimistic and visualizing myself opening and all that jazz and talking to caspian and praying. i got out of the shower and saw a spider and made colin come kill it. which is funny to me, these moments in between contractions of awareness of surroundings. i then went in our room and just went for colin's little office chair and put the yoga ball between my legs to just have there. kathy had arrived, and i think she got there about 1:15. i still felt nauseous and let them know. they gave me a bowl and got me some peppermint to sniff and wet cloths for my head and neck. colin was rubbing my shoulders and young oceans worship was playing. i started to throw up as i do in labor, not fun! and i said 'i don't like this' and they were comforting me. but yet i knew this meant transition time and i remember michelle saying they got excited when someone threw up so i also felt kinda stoked knowing the urge to push was coming. sure enough my water breaks while i'm throwing up. i then had a break and noticed my cat and started laughing at her spastic-ness and then wondered if i wasn't in transition because i felt so lucid. i said 'but i can talk to you?' to kathy and she said 'yah honey that's normal'. [sidenote apparently poppy was crazy throughout labor. they locked her in the basement twice and she somehow opened the door and came back up. amber held her as i pushed. ;)] i just didn't have a break between contractions with clover! so i thought well shoot this isn't bad at all!  i dry heaved some more and then felt some pressure/slight urge to push. kathy checked me quickly said i had a little lip left and after a couple more contractions i was ready to push and kinda just got on the floor/on my knees somehow and put my hands on the bed and grabbed onto sheets and colin and started pushing. it felt less intense pressure wise as clover's did but felt more intense contraction and ring of fire wise. i think clover was just like a crazy train shooting through me at lightening speed, and caspian i had that break so was more aware of each contraction coming to help get him out. but it was kind of a cool feeling at the same time too. i made the typical grunting/gasping/ooow noises that one does when pushing but i never screamed or anything. i remember getting his head out but was still unsure and said 'is his head out?' yes yes...and within a couple minutes, with kathy's help to guide and breathe him out slowly, he was here!! 1:48 am! i had no concept of time at that point and realized oh my gosh this still was a pretty fast labor huh. i told everyone that that wasn't bad at all and i'd totally do that again. and 3 days later/healing wise i feel fantastic as well. unbelievable! i had a small tear that was a re-tear from one of my other deliveries. but it took me over 3 weeks to heal from the other two.. like excruciating pain every time i peed among other things. and this time around it's been a couple days and i feel like i could go for a run. a friend asked me how painful it was and i realized i couldn't even describe it as pain and then realized oh my gosh i had one of those blissful births that people talk about!! i know that being at home allowed me to be fully relaxed and at peace and i felt comforted and surrounded by love and prayer and support. but i also know that part of it is just happening to have an easy labor!! and i'm blown away. i still can't believe how amazing it was. i'm not a super overtly/loud emotional person but inside i truly am overwhelmed with joy and emotion of the whole event. i am so thankful to jesus and to the love and support of kathy and michelle and am so in love with my new little man!!
caspian sage adventure
june 11th, 2012 1:48am, 8lbs 8oz  21 inches