Monday, December 29, 2008

did christmas just happen?

what a blur. christmas has come and gone and it was lovely but it feels hazy to me. the tuesday before christmas i got sick- i became extremely nauseous and dizzy out of the blue. no fun for hypochondriac, anxious little me. so it set off a panic attack or two. i wanted to chalk up all the symptoms to anxiety but something else was going on, we just aren't sure what. the nausea is unbelievable, it feels like im pregnant times 10 or so. [i'm not pregnant]. the best doctors can come up with is some sort of vertigo thing going on and i guess that's what it is. the first few days i had this awful brain fog- couldn't think clearly, felt completely out of it, lightheaded etc. each day the symptoms have lessened slightly although last night i woke up with an intense episode of it. i'm taking zofran for nausea which i think is helping. and i got some good ol' ativan to help with my anxiety. it's been frustrating, i'm annoyed at myself i feel like there's always something going on with me and it's always random. [like when i got chiggers, or that i have TB, and i had 5 wisdom teeth, and i'm allergic to lemons?! ...] so it's been debilitating and of course being anxious only made it worse, but i think it's getting better. on the upside? if there is one, i quit coffee in the midst of this, having no desire for it plus not wanting to make symptoms worse. though now spacey headaches can be contributed to caffeine withdrawal as well, who knows.
i am thankful for a husband who is patient, who prays for me, who is consistent, who loves me and takes care of me, and takes care of our son when i can't.
now i'm suddenly realizing it'll be the new year in 3 days. and i'm sentimental and overwhelmed. we lost two loved ones unexpectedly this year, and had two people dear to our hearts diagnosed with cancer. but we also had new babes born into our lives and have deepened friendships. i enjoy making new years resolutions, i always make a bunch and usually keep a few- one year i said get married and i sure did, one year i said get pregnant and i sure did..haha... i will have to make a list. it may include get pregnant, we will see...
saylor enjoyed christmas, he actually figured out how to open a present. he also loved passing out everyone's presents-which i thought was so cute. he is currently watching 'a bug's life' which is definitely hands-down his favorite movie. well it's the first movie he's ever watched the whole way through and he can't get enough. 'bug! bug?' everyday.... everyday. funny how i can totally tune it out but colin picks up on it, he knows all the character's names and the storyline. we had borrowed it from ella before we got it for christmas, i think it's played like 100 times at our house. i don't know any characters names, have no idea what the story is about. i think there is a bird? and there's a circus or something.... anyway i'm just laying low enjoying my family and resting, trying to get well.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

twilight gone bad

a few months ago i ran into my lovely friend maggie at church and she started gushing semi-sheepishly about this book called twilight. now, maggie is a [sexy] librarian and of course i'm always interested in what she's reading. so i got twilight from the library and thus joined the millions of girls who are obsessed with the series. there are four books and after i finished each one i passed them on to my friend carri. our constant gushing to each other got another 5 of my girlfriends to read it. two of my friends read the first book in one day. it's like 600 pages. the books are teen fiction. it's romance, and it's about vampires. for me personally, i enjoyed twilight, it was an easy read and i was interested to see where she was going with it. it was not my favorite book/series. i think it could have been written better and sometimes i'd be annoyed for like 40 pages. then there'd be a good chunk/scene and i would feel satisfied. overall, i think the whole story itself is pretty cool. but all along i kept saying 'i can't wait to see the movie. i feel like the movie could be even better than the book'. she had a really intense love story with some really intense action scenes... ARRGH so frustrating. a few of us excitedly, finally went and saw the movie last night. WORST movie i've ever seen.i think the worst movie i've ever seen in a theater is A.I. [with solaris a close 2nd].... twilight may have been worse than those. i cannot even believe how terrible it was. toward the end we were just laughing at out loud at how ridiculous it was. the acting was terrible, the music! the music was awful. the scenes were so choppy, didn't go together i swear if you haven't read the book you'd have no f-ing clue what was going on. like i literally think they said 'alright let's do page 57. alright now a couple lines from page 244. and, scene'. stupid scene. not only do you not believe what is happening, you don't even flippin' know what's going on. at least we were all going 'what the hell?!?!' together so it was pretty laughable. of course there are plans to film the second book and of course they have gotten a new director for it so we will see what happens. there is little hope.
the battery on my mac needs replaced and now my charger seems to be broken as i have to finagle it at a certain angle to get it to charge. no fun! also saylor seems to be getting sick, this morning he woke up and his whole face was covered in dried green snot. that is absolutely disgusting but i still wish i had taken a picture. covered. oh the joys of parenting.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


christmas is sneaking up on me but i'm enjoying it. i had a dream the other night that our friend tim was santa claus. and i was selected to be mrs. claus and i got to go with him to deliver presents on christmas eve. i was so excited to ride the sleigh and i couldn't wait to see how it was done-delivering presents to the world in one night! and i was so proud of tim for being santa claus, what a huge responsibility. oh my gosh it had to be one of my all time favorite dreams. i am still laughing out loud about it.
last night i went out with some people to celebrate our friend nick's bday. we had dinner at the golden phoenix. my first time there but an apparent favorite among many. it was pretty good. i even took a picture of my veg.fried rice because i liked the silver platter it came in...and i tend to take more random pictures when colin isn't home so i can show him what he's missing. because he totally cares about the platter my food comes on, right?

so the waiter was walking around handing out the little take home cartons and he walked past me and abruptly pulled my chopsticks out of my dish, as they were sticking straight up in the dish [even more so than in the picture]. he said in his broken english 'no, you can't do that!!' and muttered a couple sentences as he walked by that i didn't hear or understand at all. i was so amused/confused at the same time. one of nick's friends then explained to me that you should never do that, it is is a sign of death and to just stick them like that is very disrespectful! WHO KNEW? i sure didn't! wikipedia has the down low under
universal and chinese etiquette. i felt bad i certainly didn't mean to be disrespectful. it was pretty funny though. i'm glad i know now. watch your chopsticks people!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

more words regarding vaccines

this is part of the forward of the book i am currently reading, 'mother warriors', by yes, jenny mccarthy. her path in life has drastically changed- i commend her for using her voice and doing everything she possibly can to speak loudly-for herself and thousands of parents. i've only just started the book but i would definitely recommend it.
doctor's are finally coming forward-he is one of many. this forward is brief, just the tip of the iceberg, i say...
"...Vaccines can cause autism. Diet and supplements and other alternatives to doing nothing can lead to recovery from autism. period. We doctors need to stop deceiving our patients into thinking that immunizations are 'free'. Every medical intervention costs the body something, and we have legal and moral obligation to tell parents.
When I give, for example, amoxicillin for a urinary tract infection, I'm almost apologetic as I describe the rash the kids can get, the possible yeast infections, and the diarrhea that can be caused by this and most other antibiotics. One in ten thousand children could have a dangerous allergic reaction.
When I discuss vaccines with parents, I talk to them about the benefits and the risks. The official position of the American Academy of Pediatrics may be the same as my personal position, but they are far too involved with the pharmaceutical industry to actually do anything but pay lip service to an open discussion. The CDC and the AAP are filled with doctors whose research, speaking engagements, and travel are often funded by the manufacturers of vaccines. Many of these same doctors are paid consultants, and some later go to work full-time for the pharmaceutical industry.
...Yes, most vaccines have much less mercury, but wait until the evidence against aluminum in vaccines becomes common knowledge. The body of research regarding aluminum's harm to human cells already contains hundreds of articles. The most damning conclusions were recently published by Dr. Robert Sears, a very well-known and well-respected pediatrician and the son and partner of Dr.William Sears, long regarded as 'America's Pediatrician'. Using the numbers he gathered from the FDA's own data and web site, Dr.Sears points out the unbelievable difference between the acknowledged toxic dose for a baby, 20 micograms, and the amount found in hepatitis B vaccine given on the day of birth, 250 micrograms. At two months of age, this same infant could receive immunizations containing as much as 1,875 micrograms of aluminum. This is disgraceful and dangerous, and Dr.Sears goes on to say that his "instinct was to assume that the issue had been properly researched, and that studies had been done on healthy infants to determine their abilitiy to rapidly excrete aluminum."
No studies have been done. None. He, and we, can conclude what scientists have known for a long time: Evidence has existed for years that aluminum in amounts this large is harmful for humans. We can only guess what harm we might be causing to babies with these huge overdoses of aluminum.
In mid-2008, Dr.Bernadine Healy finally spoke up. Dr. Healy is the former head of the United States National Institutes of Health [NIH] and a key member of the Institute of Medicine. Referring to the association between thimerosal, vaccines, and autism, Dr. Healy said "I think public health officials have been too quick to dismiss the hypothesis as 'irrational', without sufficient studies of causation...without studying the population that got sick". I believe she's just one of many intelligent doctors and scientists who know that we need to study the link between vaccines and autism and other neuroimmune disorders.
Like many of you and some of my colleagues, I'm extremely concerned about what has caused the tremendous increase in autism and related disorders over the past decade. The presumption that doctors are much better at diagnosis is absurd and unscientific....The truth is that we have to look much harder at what happens when we directly and repeatedly inject toxic material into babies, toddlers, and children. The benefits for most healthy children are easily matched or outweighed by the risks of the immunization schedule used by almost all pediatricians. Some of our vaccines have outlived their usefulness in the united states and elsewhere, and others need reformulation to make them safer for those families who want their children to receive them. additionally, pediatricians and the medical community at large have to begin listening very closely to parents who know their children better than we do....."
Jay N. Gordon, M.D., F.A.A.P., I.B.C.L.C., F.A.B.M.
Assitant Clinical Professor of Pediatrics
UCLA Medical Center
Former Senior Fellow in Pediatric Nutrition, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Institute

Monday, December 8, 2008

christmas Q's

my blog layout isn't very pretty right now, i still need get a new, pretty template. i may have to have colin help me out a bit with it... i definitely am ready for something new.. soon, soon!
**update:soon has arrived,obviously. i've finally learned how update my template. :)***

tagged by lindsay, christmas traditions!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? i definitely prefer wrapping paper but darnit if the gift bag happens to be easier some of the time. i'll roll with it.

2. Real tree or Artificial? i grew up with the real tree deal, us all going to chop it down, the whole kit-n-caboodle. i was perplexed and weirded out by artificial trees. then one year that was hectic in many ways, we bought a fake tree. and then i realized fake trees are pretty awesome. i think ideally i prefer real... but artificial ones are more convenient. i dunno, good debate.

3. When do you put up the tree? well. so colin and i have had little mini-real trees and then inherited a nice huge artificial one. but we got annoyed with it and last year colin threw away the bottom 2/3's of the we have a base. and we have a top. also it is locked in our storage and we can't find our key, or get ahold of our landlord. i should just go grab a huge branch from outside, it could well be prettier than our 1/3 top that's locked up. [what a sad, pitiful tale :(]

4. When do you take the tree down? by the new year. after that it's just weird and depressing.

5. Do you like eggnog? i do. though just a small glass of it is all i can handle.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? hhmm for christmas. we were all stoked about getting the original Nintendo... OH my cat. that was a great gift.

7. Hardest person to buy for? all the parents we are around usually stump us for awhile.

8. Easiest person to buy for? right now my son because i know exactly what things he loves and what i want him to have!

9. Do you have a nativity scene? for the past few years my stepmom has been giving us kids chunks of our nativity scene-she picked out different ones for each of us, with our personalities in mind. mine are [get this lindsay!] the Willow Tree. me gusta mucho.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? in general i prefer mail over email, OF COURSE. nothin' like letters in the mail. but i mail but a handful of christmas cards every year, if that. we've been wanting to do a quick family picture and mail that baby out but we will see if we follow through... i do want to be the cheesy family that writes a christmas family letter every year with their card. many people hate these...but i love them.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? i can't think of a good one. but i can remember the feeling of pretending i liked something when i didn't.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? when harry met a sally is that christmas? no? love actually.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? re-gifted or sold to second hand stores surely. or returned i've done that too.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? i love food. my mom makes cinnamon rolls every christmas morning. and egg/sausage casserole.

16. Lights on the tree? um yes. of course.

17. Favorite Christmas song? hmm. so many. o holy night [though it's gotta be done right], do you hear what i hear, sleigh ride-ok any amy grant christmas song for nostalgia and any song singing 'bout our savior can make me weep.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? we have some family in michigan now so we may become travelers. we've usually stayed in columbus.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? dasher and dancer and donner and blitzen...? comet and cupid and donner and blitzen. wait. PRANCER. and vixen!? vixen is a reindeer. spitzen? vincent. and rudolph. seriously why do i not know. vixen? that is a 'malicious woman with a fierce temper'. i'd stay away from this vixen R-deer.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? i will take either if they fit my style. how sad that i can't currently recall what we have. i am NOT visual. colin decorates. end of story.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? aaagh don't open presents on christmas eve! you can open ONE gift the night before. but only if that's a current tradition.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? i really hate all the.. is the word consumerism? i don't want my kids to think it's all about getting gifts and that's it.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? i don't care what color it is. i love that all our ornaments are memories. from childhood to recent.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? already said i love to eat. no traditional dinner. but there's dinner and i enjoy it.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? kleen kanteen water bottles are on my list as well as 30 rock seasons.

26. Who is most likely to respond to this? probably katie couric.

27. Does Santa wrap your gift or leave them unwrapped? oh wrapped all the way up! we have our stockings stuffed and then we each have a stuffed animal unwrapped or something. the rest we gotta tear into and make a big mess.

tag kristin, SARAH,beth, kelly...and anyone who feels like doing this!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

happy birthday saylor!

my son is 2 today! i can't believe it. of course i was sentimental when he turned one, it was crazy how fast it went,today i feel a little wistful. he's not zero or one anymore... he's not a 'baby',he's a toddler! i'm feeling farther and farther removed from the infant days of swaddling and being up all night nursing...and of course i'm idealizing it in my head. the best remedy for this is, of course, to have another baby.. but saylor himself will never be a baby again. he's huge! yesterday colin wrote every letter of the alphabet and saylor named EVERY single one correctly! every day he learns more and it's amazing. and i suppose most mothers think of their child as a newborn on their birthday. i suppose it is bittersweet every year. i am missing the baby months big time though, i love, love, love the infant stage. i probably should have another baby soon. i think that is making me emotional too. saylor is two. if i got pregnant now he would almost be 3 when the second one was born. the longer we delay this, the older saylor will be. baby #2 is getting more thoughts of 'WHEN DO I DO THIS!?!' then baby #1 did for me, believe it or not. i'm not sure if it's that way for many people...
we had a little party with just family.he did great, got a little overwhelmed when it was time to open presents, a little overstimulated, naturally. he doesn't seem to like being the center of attention [i feel ya say, i'm the same way] but he had a lot of fun and said many a 'thaaankyou!' and 'wooow' and 'i love you's. a couple pictures colin and i took- me with my phone, he with his mac.
elmo cupcake from colin's mom. pretty intense. [he loves sesame street right now]

saylor received some really fantastic toys, we are very thankful to our family!

Friday, December 5, 2008

i love sweatpants

sweatpants are in my top ten favorite things of the world, perhaps the top 5. if i see someone in sweatpants i do not think 'weird, they are wearing sweatpants in a mall' i am more apt to think 'i'm jealous. i want to be wearing sweatpants right now'. working from home, i can't seem to get myself to put on jeans in the morning. why, why would i do that? [altho i'm still searching for that perfect pair of jeans that are crazy comfy/versatile/quality/look great on me]. anyway colin bought some sweatpants
from old navy last friday and i think he's worn them once. i've worn them every single day. i am in love with them. that has been my week, in a nutshell. me and the s-pants. and my son rapidly learning the letters of the alphabet.
we also love watching christmasy movies during the holidays. so we watched the holiday, and then i watched sleepless in seattle. i don't know what makes a movie 'christmasy'. because colin and i watch our favorite movie when harry met sally every year but i don't know if people would consider that christmasy? but i love movies and am open to suggestions for what we should watch!... right when i wrote 'watch' [which is already sounding weird to me. isn't there a better way to say i 'watched' a movie. i viewed a movie?] saylor held up a watch to me. like a wrist watch. WATCH ok it's sounding really weird right now.
i'm also loving! it's amazing. you trade books, cds and dvds with people. you only pay shipping and you can even print out the postage. we don't have a printer yet but we can walk to our post office so that's fortunate for us. i love it! it's so great to put in a movie i'm willing to get rid of and see 3000 options show up for what i can trade it with. you can just put in things that you have, and things that you want. and they will also do the work for you, i get an e-mail saying 'can you do this trade? yes, yes i can mr.swaptree. i sure can.

saylor at the helm. aka at trader joe's.