what a blur. christmas has come and gone and it was lovely but it feels hazy to me. the tuesday before christmas i got sick- i became extremely nauseous and dizzy out of the blue. no fun for hypochondriac, anxious little me. so it set off a panic attack or two. i wanted to chalk up all the symptoms to anxiety but something else was going on, we just aren't sure what. the nausea is unbelievable, it feels like im pregnant times 10 or so. [i'm not pregnant]. the best doctors can come up with is some sort of vertigo thing going on and i guess that's what it is. the first few days i had this awful brain fog- couldn't think clearly, felt completely out of it, lightheaded etc. each day the symptoms have lessened slightly although last night i woke up with an intense episode of it. i'm taking zofran for nausea which i think is helping. and i got some good ol' ativan to help with my anxiety. it's been frustrating, i'm annoyed at myself i feel like there's always something going on with me and it's always random. [like when i got chiggers, or that i have TB, and i had 5 wisdom teeth, and i'm allergic to lemons?! ...] so it's been debilitating and of course being anxious only made it worse, but i think it's getting better. on the upside? if there is one, i quit coffee in the midst of this, having no desire for it plus not wanting to make symptoms worse. though now spacey headaches can be contributed to caffeine withdrawal as well, who knows.
i am thankful for a husband who is patient, who prays for me, who is consistent, who loves me and takes care of me, and takes care of our son when i can't.
now i'm suddenly realizing it'll be the new year in 3 days. and i'm sentimental and overwhelmed. we lost two loved ones unexpectedly this year, and had two people dear to our hearts diagnosed with cancer. but we also had new babes born into our lives and have deepened friendships. i enjoy making new years resolutions, i always make a bunch and usually keep a few- one year i said get married and i sure did, one year i said get pregnant and i sure did..haha... i will have to make a list. it may include get pregnant, we will see...
saylor enjoyed christmas, he actually figured out how to open a present. he also loved passing out everyone's presents-which i thought was so cute. he is currently watching 'a bug's life' which is definitely hands-down his favorite movie. well it's the first movie he's ever watched the whole way through and he can't get enough. 'bug! bug?' everyday.... everyday. funny how i can totally tune it out but colin picks up on it, he knows all the character's names and the storyline. we had borrowed it from ella before we got it for christmas, i think it's played like 100 times at our house. i don't know any characters names, have no idea what the story is about. i think there is a bird? and there's a circus or something.... anyway i'm just laying low enjoying my family and resting, trying to get well.