what's the deal with my car?

my bad car luck is as follows.
FIRST CAR-1984 cadillac.was my grandfathers.smelled of mildew,particularly when running air condish.no clock.no radio. red leather interior.i once hit a car in the vineyard parking lot...and drove away! it was like a yellow mustang.[sorry god!] which led to duct tape on the front of the caddy.would randomly stop working while in traffic or something.finally died on me-middle of the night on 270,driving home from colin's.something about blew a piston rod through something?! pretty scary. SO glad i had a cell phone.

CAR TWO-1994 ford taurus.named him boris. he was a-ok! short lived though because colin's sister's SCHOOL BUS HIT IT and totaled it! i awoke to mark saying 'sorry to wake you but sam's school bus hit your car'. that was funny! the kid's on the bus missed a school assembly.

CAR THREE-2002 SATURN sl1.cranberry color.first experience getting a new car with the help of my family all around [my dad worked for GM so we got a discount.and even bought the car from my nephew's father] was loving it. a new car!
then i ran a blinking red light and hit [coincendentally] my friend cabot.watched the air bag pop out on him.hit a parking bench as well. totaled my saturn!

during all this i also hit a cement pole at the library, ran into a tree with my sister's car [poor little tree was no more],encouraged julie to run a yellow light-got in an accident and totaled her car.[though accident was not our fault] locked my keys in the car several times...

CAR FOUR-2002 SATURN sl1,champaign color.called him champy.this is it.good car.went into marriage with it but NO.breaks down and argue with saturn as it's just past warranty.get fixed.more problems come.transmission i think? goodyear [my trusty car place] tells me i should sell it to a dealership before they can detect the problem as the cost isn't worth it to fix.sell it to a starbucks customer's dealership.feel a tad bad.don't trust saturns anymore.

CAR FIVE-colin's 1996 [?] JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE.a bit clunky.radio stopped working unless you banged the car door with your leg repeatedly.no air.started driving it as our only car.then it gave up on us.invested 800$ into it before car place finally told us it was not worth fixing.we have a newborn and we are carless.

CAR SIX-grr.1995 HONDA ACCORD.bought from reputable guy.had to learn stick shift! [glad i learned but i hate it] IMMEDIATELY after buying it it dies on colin on 270 at 4:45am.guy grudgingly agrees to fix it.immediately after getting it back from him the driver window stops working,radio dies.air stops working.and then it breaks down again.have invested too much money in this poor old car.got a flat tire last week.

CAR SEVEN-1999 VOLKSWAGEN PASSAT-seems too good to be true.only 45k miles! reputable dealership,bought from my friend's husband. immediately after buying it it breaks down.friend's husband absorbs the cost amazingly as they should have detected the problem before selling it.but there are still problems.spend $200 on it. still problems.the car does not start-only after getting gas,and has a hard time starting in the morning.goodyear can not figure it out.we bought it in july and i have taken it to goodyear about 8-10 times.finally after researching they believe the purge valve something needs replaced. i picked it up this past friday.will know if it's fixed after i get gas.but i feel like it didn't want to start this morning!!!!

now i believe my friend julie has had even worse car luck involving more accidents and even being arrested for [unknowingly]not having insurance.haha! and another friend had her new car burst into flames on her. but then i have these friends who have driven the same random car for like 10 years, i don't get it! but i am bit car-hypochondriac and i never expect a car to work well for me.
i think it's hilarious.