win at Ambajam!

check out the blog by Ambajam and enter to win a very snuggly looking blanket or the Help Your Child Sleep Step-by-Step guide by Nicole Johnson.
i am all about that blanket.i have a thing for blankets, I think it's on my top 5 favorite things in this world.so comforting,blankets...i really do not that i keep thinking of michael jackson's child right now.

-currently reading-
twilight series
it's teen fiction but my librarian friend recommended it to me and you can't go wrong with what she likes.i'm really looking forward to the movie, hope it does it justice! i feel like perhaps the movie could be better than the book.we will see.
skinny bitch
just interested in what this book had to say from a nutritionist standpoint and i was completely caught off guard.it is all about a vegan diet which i will not do but it is making me want to be a vegetarian,not like i eat much meat anyhow but sheeesh. the book is written in a harsh/attitudy sort of way...i can't decide if i will recommend it to people.
heaven
a friend's father who just passed away from cancer wrote about this book in his blog. i am not too far into yet but am enjoying it! it is already reshaping thoughts/perceptions i had about heaven.

this and that

Make yours @ BigHugeLabs.com

states i have visited! i didn't count the ones i just drove through, should i? hmm...and yes i do not know all my states or where they are but i think this is accurate. prolly at least %85.and i keep editing/playing around with it..hmm.
thanks for the fun idea mer.
saylor will soon have a buddy to play with all day. [not pregnant!] i'm going to be nanny-ing for my friend's babe for about 6 months or so. i think it will surely be an adjustment but i'm really looking forward to it.she will be playing at my home,and it's full time though her grandparents come in frequently and take care of her so i will have days off.she just turned one and is a cutey pie and i think it will be good for her and for saylor. pictures are sure to come.
i've had this pain in my ear off and on for quite a long time and the past couple days it has gotten worse. i just had an ear infection last month-though this pain is different it mostly hurts just if i touch it. anyhow i decided i should go to the doctor after reading all sorts of stories and getting myself sufficiently nervous. and then the doctor looks and says my ear canal is definitely swollen but it looks like nothing he's seen in the 6 years he's worked and he's going to need a second opinion. WHAAAAAAA...T. i'm starting to tear up and i tell him 'well, that makes me very nervous' and he reassures me that he's fairly certain it's just an infection but he needs help deciding how to treat it. the other guy comes in and they are both quiet and nervousness abounds all over me. they are both nice the new guy talks in crazy medical speak, he actually says to the guy 'i concur'. he said if the meds i get don't help i will come back in and get a head scan or something. but not to worry it's likely nothing serious. i don't have symptoms of it being something more serious but i don't have all the symptoms of just an ear canal infection [which would include redness and pus [gross sorry]] all that to say i have some ear drops now and feel free to pray they heal up my random ear.i'm still a little anxious about the whole thing. oh lordee.
sidenote i feel like we have a lot of friends who are teachers.we understandably have many artist friends of all kinds but it's fun to me to hear all these teacher stories! i'm thinking of 7 people..i'm sure there's more. i of course have made the list of our friends who have worked at starbucks, i should update that-working toward 50 i know we'll hit it! are we sad [stuffwhitepeople like.com]. maybe next i'll make a list of our friends who are hair stylists...again, thinking of 7 people..so i have no excuse for my sad hair....blah!

grr

last night we went to dinner with b&n. easier said than done, having a toddler. we debated about seeing if we could put him to bed at my parents house first, or whether to go at all… but decided to just take him and hope for the best. we packed lots of toys and it turned out ok… it was hard for me and colin to be objective i think because most of what saylor does it cute to us, not annoying…and we are very used to conversations that start but don’t finish… our friends with kids of course get it and don’t even notice, but I think our friends without kids are pretty gracious about it as well. we were on a patio so he was able to run around a bit, note the highchair he rejected.

beth says she loves that the meals come with a salad. the waiter says ‘would you like the house salad or caeser salad’. i mention how i’m wanting to try every caeser salad in columbus and maybe create a blog and rate the salad…. colin and i get the caeser’s. when we get our bill it is way more than we expected. We didn’t even order drinks and it’s $50. we realize it had to have been the salad’s as it’s noted on the bill and i guess the waiter said ‘an upgrade' to the Caesar. are you kidding me. i am very confrontational, in a nutshell. so I go to look for our waiter and tony himself [the restaurant is called tony’s] stops me and asks if he can help me. there is a bad air about him that i sensed right away. i said we didn’t understand why our bill was so expensive and he opens a menu and said if i even looked at the menu i should know what to expect. the entrees say it comes with a house salad. and in the salad section it said the caesar salad was $6. we paid $12 for a little salad before our meals?!? i told him our waiter asked which salad we preferred and said that’s confusing to people. he just had this indescribable rude smug look on his face, like i was nothing to him. i said you should not have your waiters ask which salad we want as if they are the same. he again said i should read the menu and that’s all there is to it and then he said if i misunderstood that was MY problem. i said NO, that’s not right. i am your customer and you are serving the customer. and i told him that was completely inappropriate. i was so infuriated!! i can't even explain how beyond rude he was, making it obvious he did not care about me in the least. i went back outside and our waiter came out and i told him i was upset about the charge and HE starts saying how shady tony is and how they are trained to specifically offer the salad that way and how he gets jipped on his hours on paychecks and how he's not payed enough i mean what? why are you working there buddy? i definitely cried for a few seconds in the car. i'm over it now but i have to give that caesar salad, though tasty, the lowest possible rating. a ZERO. you hear me tony?! ZERO! we went to jeni's ice cream after and that lifted my spirits a bunch because i think jeni's ice cream may be the best ice cream in the world. also we went out to dinner to celebrate nick earning some money from drawing on an etch-a-sketch. i love our friends.

milk!

Snowville Creamery now has their milk at whole foods! I have been driving to giant eagle solely for this milk that I discovered a few months ago. I think it is the best milk that can be bought at a store. come to find out colin's bro jared has been buying it too and from whole foods.yaaay! i didn't realize it was there now too.i just wrote them an e-mail telling them how grateful i am for their milk. is that weird? quite possibly.
saylor has started sleeping in till 9:15 or so again, and before he was just waking up around 8:15-8:45.we still put him down around 7. i love that he loves to sleep! i am at my mom's house right now and he and emily are actually playing...and, holding my breath- getting along. they had a fight a few minutes ago where emily grabbed his paci and he retaliated [maybe the first time he's defended himself?] and threw a block at her head. no saylor! all is well for the moment.
at the park the other day-saylor is loving basketball lately.

right now


the other night at church. saylor is the cool kid that gets to get on stage and play drums just like his daddy and grandude. and he runs right up there as soon as i get him from sunday school. [nursery? sunday school? at what age do i start saying sunday school? haha]
amusing tidbit- my in-laws are in brazil at the moment and colin and i have stayed at their house a couple times cuz... well if you've been there, you know. its like a vacation house. so.... i leafed through judy's closet and have been wearing her clothes! whaddya know, her jeans fit me perfectly.. i've been enjoying telling people 'this is my mother-in-law's outfit'. she's got some cute clothes!

not fishing, just venting

going through another 'season' of sadness.i've got the blues.finally can't deny it after i look at our dirty carseat and my first thought is 'im a failure i can't even keep things clean' and i burst into tears. i am certainly familiar with anxiety but my feelings as of late are more sadness and this huge stamp of insecurity [with a crazy dose of indecisiveness].i'm a people pleaser and i don't want anyone going out of their way for me so this is not helpful come time of me crying and wanting someone to talk to.i have so many wonderful girlfriends who i know would listen but it's hard for me to just let go and let it all out and when i try it feels halted and sounds petty...so all my girls who have cried to me please know i respect you for it and appreciate that you value me to confide to me...
oooh i should so see a counselor.
i think one of the reasons God put me and colin together was to force me to be more independent.i grew up surrounded by girls i've known since birth and we always did everything together.those friendships changed and i got married to a guy who travels alot. ive had to get used to going to parties...weddings,funerals..alone.very unnatural for me.and i am still not good at initiating. i hestitate to call even some of my closest girlfriends. so anyone who has been in a lonely funk understands that after awhile you feel so cabin-feverish and alone yet at the same time you don't feel like going anywhere or making an effort to do anything.having children thrown into this is a whole other factor. people pleaser as i shift my schedule and cart around my son and say it's no big deal when it is, insecurity as i don't feel like a good mother in people's eyes or self-conscious when they can tell i'm stressing out.the lonliness that i think is natural with a SAHM..then thoughts of wanting more children but being afraid of losing myself more...
AAALLL this being said, i feel good to write it out [i need to talk it out]and as i always tell my other friends with their junk,you are NORMAL.this is life! i had a mom friend tell me many times it's normal to ____ -wanna scream at your child, feel sad about missing out on things because you have children,feel like you don't know who you are, miss how your marriage used to be...honesty is healthy, and life just sucks sometimes-its a broken place, only temporary anyhow.
above all this is the Lord.. the spiritual realm that we are so unaware of, i believe plays a huge factor in these things. when i am feeling so low i just want to wallow and cry and i feel like i literally have to give it to God. literally let go and why do i want to hold onto it? its a weird feeling. but i'm grateful i have Him, and i need more of him..less of me....
rocking my sleepy son 10 times longer than normal is a good remedy...

it's true

kinda funny! i just heard of this guy i'll have to watch him some more...

sleepy

awesomefest was a success! well actually i failed at it a bit but the fest itself was wonderfully pulled off. we arrived at 5:45am after only a couple hours sleep the night before [colin had a show and didn't get home until 2am]. there were 16 people doing the bike ride.i was prepared to trail behind but did not know i would wuss out and not be able to do it all! i was feeling ok, just couldn't breathe very well from stupid asthma and maybe the fact that i didn't really train at all,ahem.. we had a quick water stop about a 1/3 of the way in and i felt so dizzy and thought i was going to throw up.i definitely felt a little embarassed but there was nothing but love from people. that's when i notice the difference with our friends who know Jesus. they were so considerate of my feelings,making sure i was ok. i had to make a decision quick whether i kept riding or stopped and certainly it was awkward as they took effort to stuff my bike into the car of the water-people...then i got in the car with two people i barely knew. oh but it makes me laugh now. they rode another 10 miles and we met up with them again and i finished the last 10 miles or so! so i did about half of it and a guy looked at my bike and said 'you know you have terrible tires for this ride.' i was the only one with the thick mountain bike type tires [borrowed the bike from my mother in law, what do i know?!] he said having better tires makes a significant difference and i was working twice as hard and he hoped that made me feel better. it did. nick kept saying the real hard part of this all was watching all 6 Rocky movies. I loved them though! not gonna lie, i cried at the end of the second one 'yo adrian! i did it!' [fun trivia-adrian-talia shire- is jason schwartzman's mother! who knew? colin did]... didn't get to catch the 6th and most recent one though as we were getting tattooed. will have to rent it.

not a fan of my legs here but it's the angle, eh? yay awesomefest 2008!!! good people, good food..good silent auction, great tattoos.. good times. my hubs!!

me and aunt B being goofy

went to michigan yesterday with the guys for a show. i got to spend some QT with my sister steph and my dad and nancy.
they watched saylor while steph and i went to the show.

i think they look alike!
saylor got to spend some time with cousin leilani too, who just turned 4. it was so fun to see them together! he followed her around and did what she told him to. makes me see how a second child will be easier in that sense- you can let the two kids play together and the older one looks after the younger one.

saylor did SO well on the trip! and the guys enjoyed him as well, he was one of the boys. our only snag was colin forgetting to pack the packnplay. aagh! i was prepared to just buy one at target then return it the next day but my sister noticed a neighbor of hers had kids and she kindly asked the stranger if she had a packnplay and if so could she borrow it. and the woman named bethany said yes. how nice! steph has lived there barely a month too so i think that's very kind of bethany. i wrote her a thank-you card. and saylor slept in the packnplay, in steph's closet till a lovely 9am so we were very pleased!

blueberry picking

we drove about a half hour to do some serious blueberry picking! it was so much fun. very relaxing... ok well it was hot and saylor got restless so i was a little spastic racing around grabbing bluberries left and right while of course colin would patiently stay at one tree steadily picking away. if you got at least 8 pounds then 2 of those pounds would be free! that was our goal and get this; we get our two buckets weighed and they were 3.38 and 4.62lbs. perfect! for a total of $17 -which again was weird i happened to have $6 on me and colin only had $11.... funny math irony, Lord,thanks!

yummy!

toward the end saylor just sat at a park bench for awhile and played as we picked close by. then colin found this!

it was pretty cool. i just looked up what it could be and found this site
what's that bug. now i loathe/fear spiders like nothing else but i can handle these cool caterpillars.i scrolled down and bit and found two different pictures of our creature, he's called the cecropia moth caterpillar. little nature lesson for ya there...
8lbs of blueberries! and i opened a bag to wash some for saylor and saw a spider in there and freaked out and had colin get rid of it. now i am pretty grossed out but trying to get over it. i know it's normal and no big deal but again...arachnaphobic, no lie.

another best friend of mine kristin decided to have her baby early last night. very early, she was 27 weeks pregnant! praise the lord, baby and mommy [and daddy] are doing a-ok as of now. prayers are coveted for kristin, daniel and baby ezekiel solace pike. he is just over 2lbs and his name means God gives strength, and comfort in times of distress-they are holding tight to that meaning and feel peace and joy right now. pray for the road ahead! she is in texas and i wish i could just run and sit with her at the hospital but they have a fantastic church/support system so i know she will be taken care of!

'there is a sale at the sunglasses shoppe'

remember mall madness? so many memories with that game.
last night colin and i watched who killed the electric car? it was so good!! well good meaning quite frustrating and sad. highly recommend watching it. on the flip side i am struggling through 'the shack'. everyone keeps yaaapping about how fantastic it is, why am i not seeing the light here? [perhaps it's like me and lord of the rings]. i read a few pages, set it down and forget about it then another person starts telling me how amazing it is. so i pick it back up and continue on....i keep assuming i'm suddenly going to be totally enraptured by it... but that hasn't happened yet and i'm halfway through. but i'll keep trucking on cuz i know i'm going to run into someone else who's going to tell me how great it is.
a couple pictures from the baxter cookout. i think it was my first experience of saylor and a fenced in backyard. BLISS! he just roamed around and i did not have to stare at him %100 of the time! i can't describe how freeing this felt.
saylor is falling in love with cornhole, just like his mommy

two of my favorite little boys auggie and caiden

colin and i made ourselves some good food last night- margaritas [no mix! real, fresh ingredients. YUM] and some tasty sandwiches. and i cooked up my turnips. turnips are delicious people!


smushing his nose on a dish, i love this picture!!

saylor trying on some sunglasses at the store, and wearing mine at home
those lips!

little addicted

seriously loving so you think you can dance. this dance has my two favorites-twitch has been my favorite from the beginning but we think the end is near for him. the girl here katee we are predicting will be the winner. this is the most colin and i have ever loved a reality show i'm a wee bit obsessed.
saylor did great for the babysitter! and i don't know how to talk to teenagers anymore, so who knows if she thought i was funny and cool or weird and retarded. kidding...sortof. no i think she had fun, and i'll do it again. well the rouses got stephen the perfect gift- foot pads to remove toxins ....check out the website and look at the before and after picture- gross! i'm totally going to go buy some and see what happens.... apparently stephen [our resident smart/full of random knowledge friend] is always talking about toxins in our feet, so i think he liked it. i loved when he told us all about a squirrels lifespan...
i went to a farmer's market this morning with saylor and it was fun but very crowded and all i bought was turnips, i got too overwhelmed after that. i walked past a little booth though and a women calls out to me 'hey, are you old enough to vote?' am i old enough to vote?! i even had my son with me, do i really look like i'm 17?! this happened a couple years ago too when i went to see Sideways with my mother and they carded me. i said 'oh, i'm paying with cash though' assuming he was checking id for using a credit card..he said 'no, it's a rated R movie'. ooh. you think i'm 16. ok. i know i dress pretty casually but i know i don't dress like i'm 16 either.. but i i think it's funny and better than assuming i'm 40 or something i suppose.
.....baxter's sizzling summer celebration today....

me in 2004

I found my livejournal from 4 years ago.. good times, i'll post a couple stories. [feel free to note how young i sound. or do i sound exactly the same?! perhaps. it's definitely more random stream of thought-just for myself journaling] also i should definitely post some of my journal entries from when i was 10 or so cuz those...those are hilarious.

columbus [18 May 2004|10:43am]
...-made some serious creme brulee this morning.um that's about it. oh last night ok well amy called me whilst i was ordering my chipotle so i said 'let me call you back' then we strolled over to stauf's and i went to the bathroom [por supuesto siempre] and thought it a good time to call amy back and i was like 'sorry i was getting my burr-' and i stood up off the toilet and SOMEHOW someway i managed to-like the top part of the toilet, the LID the huge cover over the septic stuff... managed to come OFF [i THINK from my huge purse i had on my shoulder?!?] and CRASH louder than anything breaking into pieces everywhere. we're talking SMASH CRASH hurt your ears, i was hyperventalating. so it went "sorry i was getting my burr-CRAAAAASSH SMAAAASH CCCRAHRARLKAHRALRH aaaaaagghh! ok i gotta go again i just broke the toilet!' oh man was it funny.everyone in staufs was like ohmygosh what happened!? i was like shaking but it was quite hilarious. luckily we love staufs and they-well at least like us anyway.glad it wasnt like at an aquatainances [sp] HOUSE where it would have to come out of their--MY pocket.sigh good times!
aight going to class :)

i love flip-flops and trapeze artists [11 Apr 2004|10:49pm]
once i at about 1am, i was driving home and i swear i saw this huge box turtle. seeing that i a have a close bond with turtles now [2 on my back now]... i drove another mile or 2 and then HAD to turn around to...resuce it or admire it or whatever. nevermind that it would not make sense for a huge turtle to be there. anyhow i drive back, and no, it's not a turtle, it's a mangled coon carcass!!!!! how the heck did i see a box turtle, i just don't know.....

back to now we have a fun weekend full of festivities ahead. tonight we are going to a birthday dinner and we have a baby-sitter and i think... yes this is the FIRST time we will be paying someone to watch saylor! that speaks a blessing that our parents are available so often to watch him plus friends who refuse to be paid. SO i'm praying it all goes well as yesterday saylor was having meltdowns/tantrums left and right where i just wanted to scream and punch the wall.... but today he is happy as a clam laughing at everything so..... it's a tough age i had a friend who has a three year old tell me yesterday that the hardest age so far for her was 18 months-2 years and that made me feel better. it's just learning how to be patient and consistent when they start whining/crying/hitting,etc. seriously patience... and consistency. whew. but i am sure he will be fine tonight he always does well with people....