Thursday, March 19, 2009

love your husband

colin and i are both sick. now as far as energy exerted today i think he's spent more- had had to go to a radio station then practice, then whole foods.. and i only had ella for a half day and she mostly napped and then i took a quick trip to meijer. [we are always playing games on who is more tired or who works harder...ha]
i'm laying here on the couch and can't move and colin says he will 'make dinner' [fishsticks] for saylor. so im watching him cut up the fishsticks 'the wrong way' and not immediately dip them in ketchup to cool them off as i do and i'm about to tell him to do that and thank goodness i catch myself. i would have been nice, and colin would have put the sticks in the ketchup--but it's totally unnecessary to say anything!
so many parents are stressed raising their little children. and not that colin and i don't have our moments but for some reason we are in a good rhythm [so far....] and i think a big thing that is important to remember is that both of you are raising them. so there will be two different ways of doing things. and women in general will always have a better idea of how many diapers are left, when their last bath was, what they've eaten today. we just will. and we need to cut the guys some slack. men need to be built up and feel like they are the MAN of the house. so i don't need to get on colin for the way he parks, or for leaving a light on.-- so colin doesn't change his diaper or forgets to feed him.... me nagging him will not make colin remember better, nor will it make him feel confident in his parenting. saylor wears a dirty diaper an hour longer than i would have let him- gasp. not the end of the world.
i just read kate gosselin's book- kate of 'jon and kate plus 8'. they are christians and i read the book in a couple days, fun book, easy read. then i got online and watched a couple episodes as i don't watch it much since we don't have cable. and i just hate hate the way kate treats jon. and i know- i've only seen a few episodes and i know we are only seeing a small piece of their life, and i knooow she has 8 small kids. but. i still cringe when i see the way she talks down to him. it makes me want to cry! thank goodness she is organized and precise, that comes in handy with all those kids-but it's a strength and a weakness i think.. anyway i really hate assumptions about people in the public eye and i hate negative gossip- i believe they are christians and i believe they love each other. ok sorry that was a tangent.
and to go a step further- when colin tells me to be sure to put my dishes away or roll his eyes that i forgot to put the clothes in the dryer, whatever- even if he isn't pleasant about it- how much easier things are when my response is a sincere apology. instead of defense. i've been making a point to do that lately.
all this to way- our husbands will treat us better when we encourage and love on them more! ok colin made him those fishsticks and i asked him to get saylor a drink as well- he did not. and you know what- he even left the oven on. he leaves the oven on a lot!! and i'm going to choose to laugh about that rather than belittle him. i remember that colin offered to get dinner for saylor and let me stay on the couch. and that's what i'm going to go thank him for.


Beth said...


Colin Rigsby said...

you're amazing hon.

meridith said...

this might be my favorite post you have written so far. it's soooo true and i want to get a grip on this type stuff before we have kids (at least make a good effort!). good, good stuff. makes me wish we had a women's group with all us married ladies in it. *sigh*

Aaron, Sarah, and Emily Walter said...

What a good attitude to have...I must reread and reread this....maybe I'll learn something here! If nothing else-a good lesson to tuck into my heart. I think that Kate is kinda mean too....Way to go Jon for putting up with it! And if you and Meridith start a women's group-count me in :)

Happy Hippie said...

Amen sistah! It is all so true. You have learned much faster than myself, or trev, about the importance of just letting somethings slide. You are blessed with being an "old sole". We could all learn from you.
I hope you are feeling better.Ran into your hubs at his place of employ and he still looked a little under the weather. If we can do anything for ya, let us know!!

jenny mae. said...

i do this kind of stuff all the time! it's hard not to get gripe-y about stupid stuff. david took the kids and got groceries, gave me some alone time. HORRAY! but he came home and bought "multigrain" waffles, bread, and tortillas and i could've ripped him a new one because they weren't whole grain! omg the world is collapsing we arent eating whole grains for two weeks! AAAH!

Nathan and Aimee said...

Hi Michelle! I have been reading your blog forever, and meant to comment several times but alas, I lurk no more. I love your idea about responding with sincere apology...if only it were easy to do every time:) It's so easy for me to try to tell Nathan exactly how something should be done rather than just let him do it his equally effective way. Aimee (Kristin's friend from KY. I saw you at camp last summer and I remembered about the garlic in your ears:)