i should learn at the library

a car seat should be designed to easily come apart so the mother can wash it. is that too much to ask?
it's hot outside! almost 40 degrees or something, i'm coatless, heat off and even windows down in the car.... ella's parents got to go to D.C. for the big obama celebration so i had a few days off. saylor and i visited starbucks a few times [he goes straight for the horizon chocolate milk] and on wednesday i decided to take him to storytime at the library. we take him to the library all the time to play so at least he was comfortable with that... this was a little more organized play and he wasn't too sure he liked it. i'm on the fence myself. i like that it's free and no registration required [for the younger classes] and there were several kids who did enjoy it. but they had it in a conference room, with an older woman who was sweet and did fun things...but she didn't have.. you know... charisma and excitement that i think is important to have if you're trying to entertain 15 toddlers for a half hour! she wasn't bubbly. i'm not bubbly either but i still feel like i could have put some jazz and enthusiasm into it a little more. also i think most of the mom's knew each other, aaand i was the youngest there by maybe 10 years or so. saylor right away tried to run away, then he sat on my lap unsure but mildy entertained. she handed out bells for them to shake-he wouldn't hold it but when i had to return it he burst into tears and we ended up ducking out a few minutes early. as soon as we get out of course he's all happy and chatty. so i don't know. i may venture to it again with sarah, we will see. i wonder if our church community center has any fun activities for kids? i know they have free yoga for adults! i liked that.
LOST was so incredible i'm still thinking about it. i forget so much! and these writers, they knew what they were doing from the start. fortunately i have some smart friends who remind me of things. [remember when locke originally found that plane and they didn't know he found it and he said he HAD A DREAM?!' flippin' a.] and the old woman! who had spoken to desmond! ok i'm done.
nothing else i feel like saying so i'll leave it at this- do you know all your planets? there are 8 now since pluto bit the dust. i could only remember 7 [which more proof of how little i paid attention in school]. but colin knew them and their ORDER. i asked him what the acronym was to remember and he didn't know what an acronym was. he just pictured the planets. is this fascinating to anyone else? i can't picture the planets. are you kidding me?!

not me!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


i most certainly did not see sticky sucker stains on my son's sweater from the previous day and then put it on him to wear again anyway. that doesn't sound like me at all.

i definitely did not let pots and pans sit in our sink for 4 days, nope.

i haven't ignored a hanger sitting in our car for quite some time, and i didn't attempt to use it to scrape snow off my car yesterday! that wouldn't work!

and i totally did not enjoy cable at my parents house last night and i definitely did not watch girls next door, nooo way.

i did not ask my mom to make cookies for me, and when she realized she had no sugar, i so did not drive to my house and back to retrieve sugar. that's too much effort just for some nobakes.

here's an embarrassing one- my sister and i did not discover that i smelled not so pleasant at church on sunday. i didn't try a thai crystal deodorant stone on top of not showering, that's just a bad idea. i didn't have to be careful not to lift my arms in the slightest, and she didn't make fun of me at all...not me!

and i'm so not in bed right now eating chocolate.
i get a kick of out this blog and am finally participating in her not me monday fun. feel free to join the party. seriously.... i have these moments way too often... i am refraining here... so much more i could put but i gotta maintain a certain amount of dignity here on my blog!

so cold!

saylor has the greatest smile but he rarely will give me a smile on cue. in the first picture he is trying though and halfway gets it. it's ok, all my smiles until age...10 were simply me showing my teeth. it's hard to make a smile!
still in my funk but i think am slowly coming out of it. colin has been amazing these past few weeks. i don't know why this has attacked me but i am trying to lean more into the lord. i think this whole sickness, besides my sinus infection has been crazy anxiety. the beginning was an awful panic attack that has left me drained and anxious since. i've always dealt with anxiety but it has never been to this degree. the physical symptoms have been unnerving, to where i felt it couldn't be just anxiety. i am thankful to see the lord in this. went to church for the first time since feeling this way on sunday. i was feeling crazy nauseous and felt like i could barely make it through the service. i actually prayed someone would have a word that would call me up for prayer. our church has like what, 8,000 memebers so there aren't always specific words for people to come up. but lo and behold our pastor rich nathan called forward 'people who've been having panic attacks and i feel like there may be someone or people experiencing severe nausea...' haha! i was excited. i'm frustrated with how i've been feeling but i trust jesus will guide me through this and i'll use it to glorify him- even if it's just to be able to understand someone else that goes through this. it's worth saying again that colin has been wonderful. i'm thankful for a patient loving husband. aw sheesh i love him. anyway would love prayer that i would continue to be healed from this!
we are watching LOST!

sick sucks

managed to celebrate new year's fairly low key by ducking out early from a party and bringing in the new year with just a few loved ones. i also thoroughly enjoyed a ladies night with dear friends (and bingo!) on saturday but am still currently sick. came down with fever, painful cough, the nose, the body ache, the earache, the headache.... and as a rule i only get fever's when colin is out of town. poor saylor, stayed in his jammies all day, ate meals of crackers and yogurt, and watched bug's life over and over while i was curled up on the couch surrounded by tissues. now the doctor says maybe my nausea and dizziness were from the beginning of all this sinus stuff. i don't know. i am just ready, lord please to feel better. zpak, zofran, cough syrup, ibuprofen, flonase, tylenol, ativan...blaaaaah.
this morning saylor was sitting across the room and he looks at me and goes 'nack.' now of course he being my own child i understand what he is saying most of the time. i love when he says 'owgawor' i know he's saying alligator. and that he says turtle and guitar pretty much the exact same way. oooh it's a fun age he's constantly learning. he knows his alphabet so well, we are now working on recognizing the lower case letters and learning to sign them! he loves it. ok so 'nack. nack nack' he says. and i say 'neck? mommy's neck?' i always feel so bad when i can't understand him, but children are so cute in that they usually don't have a problem repeating themselves 50 times until hopefully someone figures them out. finally he walks over to me and points to some dry cereal i had in a bowl set out for him. 'naaaaack' he says patiently. ' oh snaaaack!' i say. he starts eating and says 'naaack.' it was so cute. then when i was reading books to him before nap time he said 'erwleelie' i kept repeating him, he said it 5 times or so and then i got it. 'ernie's little lie!' which is a book we read all the time. oh my goodness. i was impressed with my decoding-ness. i used to babysit our friend's daughter ryleigh. she was talking all the time but it was still hard to interpret. i was very proud of myself for figuring out she wanted 'mommy's pillowcase' before bed. she probably had to repeat it to me 20 times but for pulling the phrase out of thin air i was so excited, and she was so relieved that i figured it out.
there is a woman at colin's starbucks who is somewhat...prophetic or physic or what have you. i thought she was a christian but colin says he's not sure she is. regardless she reads people in a way, can get senses about people, has words for them or whatever. she does it very sporadically, will just come out and say something. when house of heroes was adding another member she said to colin ' your band's going through some big changes huh? bringing someone else in?' then another time when hoh was writing their new album she just said 'so you guys are writing some new music? it's pretty different from your other stuff isn't it.' she says it like she already knows, very confident. it's hilarious because it's so spot-on! SOOO today she orders her drink, starts to walk away and then comes back and says to colin 'i'm sensing maybe you guys are pregnant again or thinking about getting pregnant?' and colin just laughs and says we've totally been talking about trying soon and she goes 'yah i think it will be soon. i'm seeing may or june.' OH my lord! so crazy. i remember the first time she did this to colin he flipped out in the holy crap kinda way, but he says it's not as crazy to him anymore, but he definitely think she has some sort of gift, and he doesn't feel like an evil presence or anything so that's good. it's funny because if i don't factor in income/where we are going to live- may/june would be exactly when i'd want to get pregnant again.
we will see. but the yet to exist baby number 2 is being spoken of almost daily now... so. we will see. it's been interesting having the 'i'm a young woman, i want my freedom, etc' voice slowly and steadily being drowned out by my maternal desire to have another child, to grow our family and have a sibling for saylor.....