new things

yesterday brought two exciting ideas for me. last night we went to our friends house with some people to discuss a new homegroup. we haven't really been in a homegroup since saylor was born-and prior to that we'd always been in one, since we first met. actually i think colin started attending and leading worship at the homegroup i was going to because he liked me.
so we value homegroup but it's hard with a baby. at first we could not keep him up that late and eventually i felt he could stay up a little later but there didn't seem to be any groups with childcare that we were interested in going to... a lot of our friends are getting married, but not too many of them have kids yet. anyway our church recognizes 4 types of groups- support/recovery, bible study, i forget the 3rd :), and relational. ours will be relational- every other week [people with kids like every other week!] we will meet for dinner- the kids are a part of this- they can run around and play and such. another week of the month will be a night of prayer/worship. then we also will do community service in any way- mowing a lawn to feeding the homeless, whatever. i'm excited for that cuz...i like helping people! and saylor did great last night- the only other children right now are my friend mary's kids kian and jonah- jonah's an infant and goes to bed early. kian is 2 months younger than saylor and way smart and awesome, i love him. he was rolling over at like 2 weeks, walked at a super early age- climbed out of his crib, already potty trained, talks in full sentences.... and him and saylor are becoming good buddies. which brings me to my second exciting [reaaaally only exciting to me] idea. kian is a little guy and was climbing out of his crib at a young age. so they decided to have him sleep---- in a tent! she had told me about this but i hadn't seen it yet. i fell in love with it last night, as much as one can love a tent. and i'm not an outdoorsy person. so i have no prior fondness for tents.


i love it because saylor likes to be enclosed. he wants to be in his crib or packnplay. and whenever we get pregnant again i don't want to have to force him to a bed if he's still happy with a crib. the tent is a great transition. saylor loved the tent! he kept saying he wanted to go ni-night in there. also yes, i like keeping him enclosed cuz he can wake up and play and i can sleep for another half hour or whatever. that what we often do now- he just wakes up and plays in his crib until i get him. the biggest reason i like it though is it's perfect for colin's parents house. they love having saylor over but he's quickly growing out of the little crib they have. she tried putting him to sleep in a little fold out bed but he refused. mostly the layout of their house is a concern. they have a sweet house, everyone should come over and hangout there sometime :)- right now saylor's crib is in their closet. and they have a little bed up in the loft that they planned to transition saylor to. there are also a couple bedrooms downstairs but that is pretty far away from colin's parent's room. my concern was he'd wake up and either be wandering downstairs, or up in the loft. both i'm not really comfortable with. so yay! they can put the tent in the loft. i told my mom about this and she feels like i'm caging him in- she also thought it was crazy that i swaddled him tightly until he was 6 months old- but the kid loves it. and i put toys in his bed and he's quite content to hangout and have some alone time. and what kid wouldn't want to sleep in a tent every night?!?! fun.
colin's leaving this weekend and i'm trying to prep but we are quite busy this week. i mostly need to get to the grocery. i like to try to stock up so i don't have to do a big trip while he's gone.... looking forward to may being over with and june arriving... and colin coming home just in time for heather and nick's wedding!!

diagnosis?

i've written off and on about feeling sick for the past few months. it's really hard to explain, and it still hasn't gone away. it's unbelievably frustrating and often scary. the main symptoms are nausea and lightheaded/headaches. it is quite debilitating. i don't have the energy or desire to do much as it exacerbates my symptoms [loud noises, bright lights, focusing on people makes my head swim and makes me nauseated]. from looking online the best answer i could come up with is some sort of inner ear disorder and yesterday a neurologist said he thinks that's what it could be. i had an MRI yesterday that came back looking good so now they want to test me for this inner ear thing. what i think it could be is called vestibular neuronitis and it says it usually clears up in 1-4 weeks or something but sometimes it lingers for months or years. i think it could be this as in the fall i had an ear infection then later my left ear was swollen and they didn't know why. so i think i somehow got some sort of virus that didn't clear up. i just want an ANSWER. i want a doctor to be able to confirm whatever it is and then help me.
we want to get pregnant again so i'm annoyed that my symptoms haven't fully cleared so when i'll get pregnant i'll just continue to feel nauseous, and i worry that my symptoms will worsen with pregnancy. i also am concerned about getting pregnant then the doctor prescribes some antibiotic or medicine that i can't take during pregnancy. my ear tests are next week but i don't have an appt with this specific doctor until the end of june. i cried when they told me that's the soonest i can get in. i do not want to wait that long- i know i haven't described this super well but if you think of it please pray-for healing first of all, and then that i can meet this doctor sooner than the end of june. that i will find definite answers and remedies soon.
saylor is amazing he learns new things everyday. yesterday i taught him the word 'sharp' and we talked about sharp objects. it's just fascinating to me, this age- they are sponges. i am so impressed with all he's constantly learning and i love his everyday he talks more clear and puts more words together. he loves having 'jare-bear' living with us. we love it too- hard to explain but it just works great for us, having a roommate. it goes along our lines of desiring community and sharing and all that too. after jared gets married we plan to have our friend alicia move in with us.
sun! warmth! windows open! flip flops! skirts! my favorite!

puking and sleeping mysteries

of course my son only throws up when colin is out of town. every time saylor has thrown up, colin has not been home. this morning i woke up at 8:45 and saylor was still quiet in his room. usually he's talking and such and i make a point to get him out of the crib by 8:45. i go in there and he is covered in puke. he says 'i poo poo'. aw no buddy you didn't, you threw up! so sad! i don't know when he did it but i was sad i didn't even hear it! apparently it didn't bother him as he musta slept in it for awhile. had to wash his blankets and stuffed animals twice to get the smell out. but he seemed fine today, only really wanted to eat [holly's] banana muffins so he had 3.
so mystery one, why does my son only throw up when colin's not here to partake in the process?
mystery two-not so much a mystery as much as a discovery... or something. for as long as colin and i have been married, we've always slept on the same side of the bed, regardless of where we've lived or how the room was arranged. although every time he's gone i would always sleep on his side. well we moved and i let colin arrange everything in the house because again i cannot say enough how visual i am not. it would be hilarious for me to attempt to set up furniture or even pictures and clocks in a house.... when we were moving we were just sitting in our room with our friend nick. colin was standing at his desk, our friend nick was sitting on colin's desk chair and i was laying on the floor. we were sitting there for a good 20 minutes, half hour... suddenly i'm like 'colin, where's your desk chair?!'... silence.. they just waited for me to figure it out. i had not even realized nick was sitting on it. i know this happens to people occasionally and it's funny but this happens to me all the time. we were at our house 4 or 5 times until i finally noticed jared's room had purple walls and purple carpet, and i only noticed because someone else pointed it out. i really don't think i really see things like everyone else. i have selective things i notice i guess.
so colin determined where our bed would go and he decided which side we would sleep on- me on the side closest to my closet and dresser and his side next to his desk and closet... but that would mean we were on opposite sides of the bed! i protested for approx. 10 seconds.... and now we've discovered the switch is much better! this is a really pointless story but it's history in our marriage so i'm writing about it anyway.. ahem. so now i'm on the left if i'm just sitting on my side, but if you're standing looking at the bed it's the right. how do you decide what side it's called? anyway a few weeks ago before we moved colin started putting a body pillow between us when we slept. if he did this our first year of marriage i probably would have yelled and cried at him but now i just laughed. the fact is i'd been kicking him like crazy and pushing him off the side of the bed in my sleep. we both kept waking up kicking each other. the body pillow was a barrier to me [from me?] and it worked pretty good. it was like having a baby there i knew i couldn't cross it. first night in our new house i said no body pillow tonight, come ont! and what do you know, i don't kick him anymore! one could say the pillow has conditioned me... but i really think all along i should have been sleeping on this side and i was fighting to get there.. and now that i'm here... it's like. feng shui. or something.
anyhow. my friend julie locked her baby in her car at my house tonight. it was pretty funny. i could relate as i did that with saylor last year. ok so all along one of my doors was unlocked. but still same scenario. flipping out, baby's crying. fire trucks arrive, feel kinda silly. at least her's was legitimate! mine ended in 'um, this door's unlocked'. funny.