let's just skip april

32 weeks pregnant. people keep asking/assuming i'm not noticing this pregnancy as much, being my second and that i'm distracted and not as into it since i've done it before. not so! i'm a big schedule person. i thoroughly enjoy just staring at my planner and flipping through the weeks... i memorize other people's appointment dates, it's a problem. i feel i am even more impatient with this pregnancy for some reason! bring on the baby!
STILL weird to have colin around... it's been awesome but still living in the alternate universe reality. in the meantime colin's been getting random jobs. so yes i'd like it to be may already but we have some fun things going that will hopefully make april fly by.
starting with easter, and the following week is a baby 'shower' party for us- an excuse for a big party basically. then i got a 'job' 'modeling' for someone that has a vintage/modern apparel line.. i can't model her clothes [cuz i'm pregnant, how can we forget] but i'll be in the back of shots and i think she may profile me somehow, something about women in stages of life... it should be interesting, i kinda want some girlfriends to come with me though! cuz i don't know what to expect. THEN saylor, colin and i... and colin's dad, are going to be in a commercial. colin's dad mark does film production/editing/producing and he's producing this commercial.they needed a 45 year old guy and just said ah mark, you can pass for 45 you do it. and colin is going to pass as an 18 yr old! ha... then they wanted a 23 yr old pregnant person [hi] and a 5 year old boy... which will be saylor, and hopefully he does ok! oh sheesh. i will be 36 weeks and we have to drive an hour or so to shoot it and i'm not sure how long the day will be. it will surely be a lot of sitting around, but again hoping saylor handles the day well. after that we are having a big multi-family garage sale at our house. hope that turns out well too!!
so interesting things that will surely distract me..
saylor is doing so well writing letters, today he figured out R and B. he also memorized how to spell 'the'... i really think he's ahead of the curve reading/writing wise. he has known all his letters since before he turned 2! he knows all the upper case and lower case letters AND can sign them all in sign language! and he's beginning to read-sounding out words and knows many other words from memorizing/recognizing them. and he just turned 3 in december! i have a friend who is a kindergarten teacher and she said some kids don't know their alphabet yet. by 5 saylor will be writing and reading no doubt!!! i am proud of him. i definitely encourage him, but he also just LOVES letters and spelling. that's what we do in the car. 'mommy how do you spell clouds' 'how do you spell window' and a favorite 'how do you spell 'how are you doing today?'' he always points out if a word has two letters in it. recently he asked colin how to spell 'fruit strip' and as soon as colin finished it he said 'that has two R's and two I's and two T's in it' i was so shocked he processed that so quickly, i had to think about it for a minute to figure out if he was right! ha
i'll try to start posting more pictures on here!
i'm wanting to change my email address on my accnt here but it won't seem to let me?! trying to change it to my gmail address...hmm

sliding doors

house of heroes is about to start a tour and i just can't wrap my head around the fact that colin isn't a part of it. i told him it was like the movie sliding doors where two different paths are played out.. he gave a better example with lost this season and the alternate realities... i just keep picturing what we 'should' be doing, what we've always done, and my heart is just so broken.. it's good, there is so much good in it- first of all we know that we know that god wants us where we are at right now. this is certain-certain specific things god has directed and told us... and colin's actually having an easier time at this than i am as he knows this is what god is asking of him. and i cry happy tears because oh my gosh... he's here! i will have help around the house [especially helpful as i'm so pregnant right now], i won't be lonely/aching for him, i won't be crying out of frustration that he isn't here, saylor won't be asking every 10 minutes 'where'd daddy go?' we don't have to deal with the emotions of me handling so much responsibility while he jets off with almost no responsibility... but... i love house of heroes, i love the people involved, i love the people we know in the industry, i love watching colin play-oh how i love that, i love watching saylor watch his daddy play... i love traveling with him, i love the hope and the passion...i love how this was his first love, that him and tim and aj were doing this when i met him almost 10 years ago...
and our marriage will be put to the test, mostly as we are choosing this to honor god and put him first- there is bound to be spiritual attack because of this. but we know we will seek him and our marriage is going to grow because of this.. the process is difficult though. i can't even believe all the emotions and things we've processed already. but i suppose it has been the biggest thing in our life really, besides our son of course. and he is still involved of course, and we will have to see what that looks like, i'm not sure... but i do know i've never been more amazed and proud of my husband. it's always inspiring to see someone seek god first, being willing to sacrifice... and all on his own accord colin has listened to god and has responded, and we are walking out in faith and trust for sure... we don't even know where we are going...
but we are thankful. for jesus,for each other, for our community and their love and support.. for our son and so excited for our baby girl on the way.....

love

i love love