one week

last wednesday at this exact minute we were praying my contractions would start to kick in....now here i sit with a boppy and little clover belle curled around me. i swear, i swear, she laughed this morning in her sleep. her smile is awesome and cheesy and huge and dimples.
our first week home has gone great, don't want to speak too soon but i think it's easier having your second child. we weren't anxious/nervous with saylor but it was still new and the schedule/lifestyle/taking care of a person was overwhelming and a huge change. this time it feels much easier/smoother. she's great, she hasn't even cried yet really, except the occasional 5-10 second squack. i don't think that's a word but.. maybe it should be. people say to nurse jaundice babies a ton but this is easier said than done because jaundice will often make them very sleepy. she nurses for 2-4 minutes and is completely passed out. her second night home i had to wake her to feed her. this has led to some painful engorgement [though otherwise her latch is great and it doesn't hurt to nurse yay] and she and i are in the habit of often nursing every hour just so she gets something, i am going to have to work on getting to her stay on longer and space the hours out.. but regardless i know she's getting enough and saylor was never a long nurser either. 8-10 mins was a solid time for him.
we took her to doc monday as recommended plus we all could see she was still pretty yellow. they tested her bilirubin again and it had gone up again to 12.2 [when we left it was 11]. 12.2 is in the low risk category but they wanted to check her again today to make sure it's remaining stable and sure enough she is ok. it is 10.6 today. doctor said no more testing her, girl's gone through enough! well ok in a couple weeks they will do a complete blood count one more time to make sure it's all working and flushed out or whatever and check her anemia as she's a little anemic right now. then it will be done.
it's been amazing having colin here and taking time off work. he's been taking care of saylor all day and i'm usually upstairs with clover, although i'm trying to get in face time with saylor too. hopefully i will heal soon [TMI warning: on a pain scale of 1-10.. when i pee... it's easily a 10... i'm like banging the walls and yelling sometimes. there's some small cuts/tears i think... it's like a knife tearing through me every time i pee, it's torture. i have to use the peri bottle 2-3 full bottles worth every time i go and that still doesn't ease it. i'm also using lavender oil, tea tree oil, ice, dermoplast, ibuprofen, warm baths...then after i go it's like.. a knife wound and it takes awhile to walk and find a way to sit down that isn't extremely painful. oh joy! it sucks.. and i'm a person that usually pees like twice an hour... so...yah] anyway colin will go fully back to work on monday and i'm trying to prep myself and am anticipating it to be hard. i haven't had any huge meltdowns yet. i cried for a few minutes in the hospital about being sad that it wasn't me and saylor anymore. and monday our doctor appt was frustrating and we did too much and i hadn't eaten all day and was in pain so i cried some then but otherwise i've been feeling pretty good. but i'm sure in the next few months as clover becomes more awake/particular and as i have to take care of both of them all day... aaaahhh! can't think ahead just have to take it one day at a time!
we've had plenty of visitors and meals have started and we are enjoying this honeymoon/newness period...
saylor today-'does the joker have a penis? what color is it?'
and he also made up a game called 'shark pad' you put a bunch of grass and mulch on the slide and then go down the slide. shark pad!