hello holidays!

didn't mean to go so long without writing. i kept planning on it then my computer finally died! but today is a beautiful day, my new mac arrived. i love him. or her... wait let me see...i feel like it's a she! anyhow i'm very thankful for it, we got dust hev's employee discount and i bought apple gift cards on ebay to save even more money [like getting a $100 for $90.. totally recommend doing this when you have a big purchase! i saved another $50 this way].

things are good, colin is officially touring again and that lapse of time doesn't even seem real already... there is SO much that could be said about that whole period of course..but alas.. we've hashed and rehashed and explained and thought it all to pieces so i think we are done. in a nutshell [and my nutshells are other people's long stories :)] i think god genuinely had a purpose in the whole season-that is so evident..we were seeking him and he has been doing lots of greats things...it was so great and fun to have him home but it felt like living an alternate universe. we did get used to it though and so it was strange going back but it took approx 30 seconds for it all to feel like ol' hat again.[so much i could write on what the word 'ALL' encompasses!] from my end i never even wanted him to step down so i really feel great about where we are at now. not to say it's easy... and so much i could expand on that :) but.. in all, we love our hoh family and it feels good to be back.

aaand that's all i'm going to write for now, however now that i've got a computer again i shall be writing more. and posting pictures..lots of fun holiday things coming up.. i love thanksgiving and christmas [and saylor's birthday in between]...

i'll leave you with these nuggets

i nursed on the floor in the christmas aisle at target today [black friday craziness mind you].. nobody seemed to notice or care, actually had one pregnant woman cheer me on..

saw a license plate today that said JK LOLZ.. and i thought to myself lol, omg! byob. sigh. kwim?!

i just ate pie in bed with colin and had about 5 brownies today...mmm and tomorrow's another thanksgiving for us, woohoo.

saylor quotes:

he says this ALL the time- 'today means today and right now means right now!' we still haven't figured it out..

'so mom, let's talk about chimneys'

and what is he thankful for? 'real guns and real light sabers'. nice...for his birthday he wants a pretend vacuum and a hot air balloon. and a 'real' light saber. such a hysterical age, seriously! it's amazing.

i love scarves.

rocking clover

i'm holding my little peanut with one arm and leg and typing with one hand. clover is 4 weeks old as of yesterday and doing amazing. she still is quite chill and easygoing.
milestones- well not really milestones but a description of clover at 4 weeks-
she's around 9 and a half pounds, i think [from weighing myself and then weighing again holding her]
20 inches [my mom and i measured her because she looks so much longer!]
besides her 5 hr stretch of night sleep when she was still jaundiced, her longest stretch has been 4 and a half hours. she's had two 4 hour stretches... but it's usually 2-3 hours still with occasional 3 and a half.. or 1 hour stretches! first thing i do when i hear her grunting and rooting around is look at the time. sometimes she grunts for awhile and falls back asleep for a few minutes so yes... i'm awake a lot. but thankfully she hasn't cried at night yet so that's cool. i am very tired but it's manageable. my back hurts so bad though! just from rocking her and nursing her in awkward positions. argh.
didn't starting spitting up until 2 days ago, i thought i was home free! and then it started. not too much though..so far.
she really is so great at just laying around and looking about during her awake periods. she of course sometimes gets restless like she can't get comfortable and starts fussing a little- she often does this from around 8-10 before falling asleep for the night. and THIS is when i bust out my skills that we learned from the happiest baby on the block. this book is a MUST READ for anyone with a newborn! we have the book of course, and today i just watched the dvd of it... so good! love harvey karp.
is grunting and hooting and hiccuping still, but less often.i love the hoots.
ok i started using two hands but she started fussing so back to one hand i go.
my sweet girl. i love having a daughter. having a second baby has felt SO different to me, i'm constantly reflecting on how it feels. i didn't feel like i instantly bonded to her, but i still felt crazy love for her. hard to explain. i think it's partly because i've gotten to know saylor for 3 years..i don't know, it wasn't as emotional or overwhelming so it felt more nonchalant? like when saylor was 2 weeks old i could barely stand to be in a different room with him, but when clover was only a few days old i easily left her to go get ice cream with saylor.. but i'm loving how easy it feels.. anyway i've talked to some other mom friends who can relate. one friend said for awhile whenever there would be something sad about children on tv or something she would only think of her first child and not her second and it worried her that she loved her first child more- but of course this changed, particularly as her second child grew and his personality emerged. regardless, i haven't been concerned about my feelings, it was just interesting. and it's been fun falling in love with her. at first it was like i kept trying to figure out what she looked like.. and now she is so beautiful and lovely to me, like i'm getting to know her...mmmm and it's good.
aaand she's asleep now, down for the night.

she has had two baths so far and she loves them!
oh and some saylor quotes..
'mommy, did god make my nipples?'
'amber loves our tire swing and you know what else she loves? our red couch. let's talk about mailboxes'

making a pb&j all by himself he said 'am i a grownup now?

one week

last wednesday at this exact minute we were praying my contractions would start to kick in....now here i sit with a boppy and little clover belle curled around me. i swear, i swear, she laughed this morning in her sleep. her smile is awesome and cheesy and huge and dimples.
our first week home has gone great, don't want to speak too soon but i think it's easier having your second child. we weren't anxious/nervous with saylor but it was still new and the schedule/lifestyle/taking care of a person was overwhelming and a huge change. this time it feels much easier/smoother. she's great, she hasn't even cried yet really, except the occasional 5-10 second squack. i don't think that's a word but.. maybe it should be. people say to nurse jaundice babies a ton but this is easier said than done because jaundice will often make them very sleepy. she nurses for 2-4 minutes and is completely passed out. her second night home i had to wake her to feed her. this has led to some painful engorgement [though otherwise her latch is great and it doesn't hurt to nurse yay] and she and i are in the habit of often nursing every hour just so she gets something, i am going to have to work on getting to her stay on longer and space the hours out.. but regardless i know she's getting enough and saylor was never a long nurser either. 8-10 mins was a solid time for him.
we took her to doc monday as recommended plus we all could see she was still pretty yellow. they tested her bilirubin again and it had gone up again to 12.2 [when we left it was 11]. 12.2 is in the low risk category but they wanted to check her again today to make sure it's remaining stable and sure enough she is ok. it is 10.6 today. doctor said no more testing her, girl's gone through enough! well ok in a couple weeks they will do a complete blood count one more time to make sure it's all working and flushed out or whatever and check her anemia as she's a little anemic right now. then it will be done.
it's been amazing having colin here and taking time off work. he's been taking care of saylor all day and i'm usually upstairs with clover, although i'm trying to get in face time with saylor too. hopefully i will heal soon [TMI warning: on a pain scale of 1-10.. when i pee... it's easily a 10... i'm like banging the walls and yelling sometimes. there's some small cuts/tears i think... it's like a knife tearing through me every time i pee, it's torture. i have to use the peri bottle 2-3 full bottles worth every time i go and that still doesn't ease it. i'm also using lavender oil, tea tree oil, ice, dermoplast, ibuprofen, warm baths...then after i go it's like.. a knife wound and it takes awhile to walk and find a way to sit down that isn't extremely painful. oh joy! it sucks.. and i'm a person that usually pees like twice an hour... so...yah] anyway colin will go fully back to work on monday and i'm trying to prep myself and am anticipating it to be hard. i haven't had any huge meltdowns yet. i cried for a few minutes in the hospital about being sad that it wasn't me and saylor anymore. and monday our doctor appt was frustrating and we did too much and i hadn't eaten all day and was in pain so i cried some then but otherwise i've been feeling pretty good. but i'm sure in the next few months as clover becomes more awake/particular and as i have to take care of both of them all day... aaaahhh! can't think ahead just have to take it one day at a time!
we've had plenty of visitors and meals have started and we are enjoying this honeymoon/newness period...
saylor today-'does the joker have a penis? what color is it?'
and he also made up a game called 'shark pad' you put a bunch of grass and mulch on the slide and then go down the slide. shark pad!