nashville+birthday party

on saturday we had clover's little birthday party! she was a doll.. was so cute eating her cake she held it and put her face in it then she would look up at wave at everyone! what the heck amazing. saylor quote- 'hey gabe you wanna take off your clothes...?' trying to get him to play on the slipnslide..also clover is officially communicating with her signs it is awesome. she signed more food please.. first sentence! *proud* *excited cuz this equals less whining*.

i can't seem to move these pictures after posting..so nashville was before her party but not on this blog... it turned out the guys had a day off on clover's birthday and would be in nashville for a couple days. i thought it was silly for him to be sitting around not with her on her bday and so found it a good excuse to finally get in a [long overdue] visit there. irony of all ironies [or maybe not, irony is a confusing word] katie and aj were heading to columbus the same day. bummer but we still stayed at their place and i got to see katie [and her neighborhood world] for a few hours before they left so that was cool. katie and i are sliding doors living the alternate universe of each other..she's me without kids and i'm in kid world.. it's weird and cool and bittersweet on both ends and interesting. life will keep changing. saylor stayed with col's parents and clover was perfect on the trip. i mean...perfect. i love traveling so i didn't really think twice about the car ride and clover apparently enjoys them too. i only ever worried because she was so quiet ha! didn't she did not cry at all on the trip and we hit 40 mins of traffic on the way home so that's awesome. awesome she hung in there, not awesome about the traffic blurg i was makin' some sweet time. i had too much [relaxing easygoing] fun, i just love so many people there and while i wouldn't necessary want to live there... i wouldn't mind being there for a few months to just spend time with some people. also... the coffee shops. my fave. come on now.

love clover's perplexed-ness.

may

clover will be one on thursday! it went by.. so. so. fast. that was crazy. she's delicious. colin's mom just pulled out a bunch of baby pictures of colin and OH my gosh i didn't realize that she IS colin. saylor is me and i'm walking around holding a baby girl colin it's wild. she currently has 3 teeth and just started actually crawling in the last few days. girl's been taking her time. i think she pulled herself up to standing once, but i missed it and now i'm starting to doubt it and wonder if i'm the one who put her there standing.. but it's all good i like that she stays put, shoot i'm enjoying it while it lasts. she loves to wave, hug and kiss, so big, and can sign nurse, all done, play, and please although we are still prompting those [besides wave/hug/nurse], she is not really communicating her needs just yet. she makes a whistle type face a lot, likes to dance, has just learned to drink from a straw and is finally laughing at saylor's attacks more than crying.

heather had baby cohen on thursday which defined a wonderful weekend of excitement and love. i walked in their room to see him and just cried and cried and oh my gosh how i love pregnancy/birth/babies. that. may be my passion.[wanna bea doula!] oh the weight of his presence, sweet little burrito i love him so! heather is doing amazing too i'm so excited for her. and at this moment linzi is in labor as well!!! the adrenaline from it all is funny i'm so hyped up and exhausted at the same time. had some of my bffs over saturday night and it was one of those perfect nights of hilarious and deep convos that went on for hours. i love love love my girlfriends. i feel like i see them a lot but there was something sweet about that night it was just special for all of us i think.

i'm on this candida cleanse/diet thing.. for almost a month now and it's annoying but i think it's been helping with the health problems i've had for the past two years. it's nice to finally have a doctor that's diving in, very thorough and willing to find the root and bring me back to good health. i am sugar, caffeine, alcohol, wheat, dairy, corn, soy, and peanut free [and more..no mushrooms no peas no bananas no oranges it goes on and on]. it is SAD. fortunately we eat pretty healthy and i am already used to eating fresh produce and such.. so in that sense it's not difficult, i am creative and feel like i have plenty to eat.. but oh oh oh i miss coffee and ice cream and bread. and cheese. i am taking a high dose of nystatin for about a month and then i plan to switch to doterra's GX assist and hopefully start to be more flexible in my diet. i do suggest if you aren't feeling well in any way- do an elimination diet for a few weeks! we don't realize how things can affect us. and it's nice to kinda cleanse your body in a way. it's also a discipline that forces you to be more aware of what you are eating which is good because we feed ourselves crap a lot. food is to be celebrated and enjoyed and it's community and love and delicious..but it's also fuel. food keeps us healthy and vital and strong and the wrong foods can make us sickly, diseased, depressed, etc... all stuff we know but so hard to put into action. anyhow this is all common knowledge i'm just rambling...

things i'm loving:

1.new babies!!!

2.words with friends, always

3.terra chips and homemade hummus

4. my son's constant questions and his random accent he has lately

5. free haircuts from jayme

6.laughing at tina fey's new book

7.the last few episodes of oprah!

8. walking outside with friends. and target and easton. to 'return something' because we always seem to have things to return.

9.amazon. love. amazon.

10.fascinated/warm fuzzies watching clover's sweet little calculated crawls

11.the warm weather and my husband's garden and his cuteness with his shorts and tan

february

whenever i think about journaling these days i want to write stuff in an actual journal or write in clover's baby book.... but still so sad i haven't been writing on here much!

so many fun things have been going on including an overdue trip to california for me!! but will have to write about that later.. for now, what's going on this moment...

a stuck at home day due to crazy ice storm that has been going on. we braved it yesterday and went out but wasn't worth it today. i fell on our icy driveway yesterday and today. yesterday it was funny and today it totally hurt. it was awkward [read:fun- i love awkwardness] too because the mailman was with me- he was trekking up to hand me a package and so i started to come out to meet him since i wanted to get the mail anyhow. he said our driveway was ridiculous, and it is. it's on a weird slanted/curvy hill first of all [my car slid off it a few days ago had to call a tow truck!] and it's rocks, not paved-and then currently totally covered in thick ice, VERY slippery... anyway the mail guy has some like serious traction boot things on and he's carefully walking up and i'm in my sweats and colin's boots and i totally fly up and slam down hard it was awesome. he was pretty concerned for me and i brushed it off until i got inside and let a couple tears shed. ouch! i said forget the mail! and went back inside but of course went out 20 minutes later and carefully walked down the hill and avoided our driveway to get the precious mail.

saylor is snuggling on me and watching lady and the tramp.. i put clover down at 5:30 she was a wreck. think she's getting sick [agaaain!] saylor was sick all last week, was pitiful though the mellowness was nice i have to say. she also may be teething? anyhow sometimes the days are long but as a whole i LOVE my 'job' and i'm so beyond content and blessed with my family and where we are at..wouldn't trade it. like i find myself humming and dancing as i go about my day.. cuz i love what i'm doing, and that's a good sign :) it's fun to have a bunch of our close friends having kids as well and of course it's helpful that our parents watch our kids for us. my trip to cali was so fun and rejuvenating.. thankful to travel and feel like 'myself' and not get lost in momworld.

busy month, colin is home for a few days this sunday and they have a few shows that i'm going to this month as well, it's all spaced really well so it will be fun. ...

and now i'm going to put my boy down, make some dinner and yah, that's right, watch gossip girl.

makin' it work

places clover has been so far, at 7 months:

cincinnati/ikea, michigain, seattle, boise, denver, akron..

movie theater, 4th of july fireworks, camp sychar, trick or treat, cosi, columbus zoo, safe auto commercial, two house of heroes shows..

all parents houses, sister's houses, aunts house, uncles houses, grahams,fanchers, pflugs, andersons, wojniaks, evans, baxters, siglers, nelsons, zappins, dearths,longs, scherers, snows, arcades, elys and more.. and how many restaurants and stores and more?! about 10 different starbucks locations :)

i'm proud of my attitude of just taking her with me and making it work! i've done the same with saylor and so far i think saylor was a bit easier although clover is overall not difficult at all. i wonder..which came first- the high maintenance baby or the stressed out parents? i don't know much i only have two fairly easy kids. but i have seen cranky irritable babes and parents who just shrug it off and keep going about their activity... it's hard but we as parents have a choice in our response to difficult situations. do not underestimate the need for sleep and food. i'm so mean when i haven't eaten! and the need for sleep that parents and children need is a whole other post.. but anyhow i work REALLY hard at maintaining my sense of self and remaining calm and casual in my parenting. not to say i haven't had meltdowns, i can't do this help me i hate this, yelling/crying/sighing moments... those who know me have seen it :) BUT i KNOW this is normal, mothering is THE HARDEST JOB in this world.. and i am going to fail my children.. but i'm not going to wallow in shame and regret about these moments cuz that will only make it worse. there are times when i take clover out i will admittedly alternate between SWEET see i'm making this work! and holy crap i'm never doing this again uuuugghhh. but in the end i'm always glad i did it and my memories are always of the fun we had, you quickly forget/let go of the difficult parts [kinda like remembering labor as awesome even though it's the worst pain in the world].. yes when i'm able i gladly leave my kids with someone else so we can go out, but i will also not rule out something because i have a baby... i roll with the punches, realize it will be more challenging but choose to accept that and have fun anyway. i wish i was journaling her experiences more, i plan to be more consistent this year!

baby wearing and sleeping:

siiiiiiiiick+dedication

i've had all these random thoughts i've thought about writing about but sickness has consumed me for the last week. this is pitiful! everyday i'd wake up with a new attack. it went as follows-thursday: hmmm headache, this feels a little weird. friday: sore throat... ruh roh. friday night: high fever and throwing up, that was good times. saturday: glands swollen to the size of watermelons, sunday: ears started hurting and clogged up, monday: nose started running crap, tuesday: left eye got swollen and gunky infected, wednesday: right eye got it, thursday: uncontrollable painful cough, friday: crazy jaw pain [from sinus pressure/fluid i'm assuming]. bear in mind as each new thing came, the other symptoms did not subside of course. they all just keep building on top of one another. i mean this is ridiculous. of course we've all been sick a million times but for me this one really tore me down. with two kids and the holidays and the intensity and continuous attack.. it's been a DOOZY. oy with the poodles already! thank god colin's home. my prayer is please jesus don't let anyone else get it...

so much going on even while i'm sick. on sunday clover was dedicated and our good photographer friend nick took a few pictures for us. first of all HER DRESS look at clover's outfit. it's amazing. a present from colin's mom, it's the nicest thing she will own until her wedding dress. and i love it love it love it. this dress IS clover don't you think? let's admire it, shall we. second, i am sick as can be here. we were on sunday in my plague of sickness so at least it was before the eye infections.

i LOVE our pastor, i LOVE our church. i need to write about our church. so good.

i love clover's expressions in the pictures! note her hands on our pastor jeff's hands and her looking up at him. she was into it :) and as you may be able to tell, she still loves sucking that bottom lip of hers. my sweet petunia!

hello holidays!

didn't mean to go so long without writing. i kept planning on it then my computer finally died! but today is a beautiful day, my new mac arrived. i love him. or her... wait let me see...i feel like it's a she! anyhow i'm very thankful for it, we got dust hev's employee discount and i bought apple gift cards on ebay to save even more money [like getting a $100 for $90.. totally recommend doing this when you have a big purchase! i saved another $50 this way].

things are good, colin is officially touring again and that lapse of time doesn't even seem real already... there is SO much that could be said about that whole period of course..but alas.. we've hashed and rehashed and explained and thought it all to pieces so i think we are done. in a nutshell [and my nutshells are other people's long stories :)] i think god genuinely had a purpose in the whole season-that is so evident..we were seeking him and he has been doing lots of greats things...it was so great and fun to have him home but it felt like living an alternate universe. we did get used to it though and so it was strange going back but it took approx 30 seconds for it all to feel like ol' hat again.[so much i could write on what the word 'ALL' encompasses!] from my end i never even wanted him to step down so i really feel great about where we are at now. not to say it's easy... and so much i could expand on that :) but.. in all, we love our hoh family and it feels good to be back.

aaand that's all i'm going to write for now, however now that i've got a computer again i shall be writing more. and posting pictures..lots of fun holiday things coming up.. i love thanksgiving and christmas [and saylor's birthday in between]...

i'll leave you with these nuggets

i nursed on the floor in the christmas aisle at target today [black friday craziness mind you].. nobody seemed to notice or care, actually had one pregnant woman cheer me on..

saw a license plate today that said JK LOLZ.. and i thought to myself lol, omg! byob. sigh. kwim?!

i just ate pie in bed with colin and had about 5 brownies today...mmm and tomorrow's another thanksgiving for us, woohoo.

saylor quotes:

he says this ALL the time- 'today means today and right now means right now!' we still haven't figured it out..

'so mom, let's talk about chimneys'

and what is he thankful for? 'real guns and real light sabers'. nice...for his birthday he wants a pretend vacuum and a hot air balloon. and a 'real' light saber. such a hysterical age, seriously! it's amazing.

i love scarves.

sleeeeeep

**this post is about children and sleeping and it mostly for my record/memory.. may not be interesting to anyone except perhaps another mama :)**

i'm just so tired all the time! but such is this season i suppose. i just miss sleep. clover was doing great 6-8 hr stretches but in the last month she started sleeping 4-6 hrs then waking up every 1-2 hrs after that. no crying and i'd only have to nurse for a few minutes back to sleep but i was starting to go crazy. [aka burning eyes exhaustion, easily annoyed, no energy to do anything.. therefore not really being a good mama [or wife or friend]] i tried slowly cutting back [nursing less minutes every few minutes] and i tried not nursing and just rocking but it wasn't really working, it was kinda getting worse and i wanted to attack it before it got even worse/her solid routine. and i was going crazy. so i decided to let her cry it out- she was a good 'candidate' for it as she can and does fall asleep on her own just fine, had slept 8-9 hour stretches before and she wasn't a stubborn screamer anyhow. [if crying in the car she will stop after a few minutes after realizing her situation isn't changing.. :)] and although she's still young i think that's actually better- she's less aware/expecting me and can't like stand up or anything. definitely wasn't as hard to hear her cry, being my second child and remembering letting saylor whine and seeing him all smily as can be the next morning. she cried off an on every couple hours, there were a few minutes of sad oh shoot i can only handle one more minute of this crying- but then she'd stop and i'd be glad i didn't give in and nurse-never lasted more than 10 minutes, i stared at the time each time. she is still in our room, and i would go over and rub her belly and whisper to her although i think that could potentially make her more upset so i didn't do it too much. and YES she woke up in the morning happy, beaming at me and chatting away. second night she did better, mostly just kinda whined and fussed. third night she slept a 10 hr stretch, from 7-5! nursed then slept until 745...and last night was the 4th night, ended up nursing her at 1245, 430 and 6... oy..still figuring it out because i'm not opposed to nursing her once or twice at night, as she is still young.. i think once a night around 4 would work well for her so hopefully we will fall into this pattern soon. saylor also keeps waking up to pee in the middle of the night and usually wakes around 7 [though he will be quiet and let me sleep which is nice] but yah, as of now i'm still waking up at least what, 4 times a night, never mind my random mind won't stop running so that keeps me up too.. aaahh. next step is having saylor to go to the bathroom by himself and getting her in his room [they will be sharing a room]. but on the plus side saylor is now done with paci's!! he is almost 4 and we anticipated it being a difficult ordeal but it could not have been easier. we 'mailed' his paci's to kids that needed them, got him a build a bear that he named cham and he never even cried about it. awesome.

and besides her sleep snags, she is the happiest most chill little chickadee. she has a bald spot and is still not really rolling over, she loves to laugh and i'm trying to savor her babyness. i'm quite in love with her, i'm still in awe that we have a daughter- i remember the ultrasound at 14weeks and them saying she was a girl... and oh how i wanted a girl!! what a feeling...

excited for fall.. although where did all my winter clothes go? i know last year i was pregnant but what heck did i wear in 2008?! i have like 1 long sleeve shirt and 3 sweaters that i don't like. this seems to happen every season.. part of this is my bad habit of buying quantity over quality.. still trying to learn to invest in quality pieces that will last a long time versus my forever21 trips that yah.. last for a season...ah well. i enjoy my thriftiness but i still need some key pieces... [jeans/winter coat/boots/sweater] our friends should do another clothing swap...hmm..my mind is wandering...

i am grateful for parents who watch our kids a lot and my husband who gives me lots of freedom, but currently a book and bed sounds more appealing than anything else... sigh!