new things

yesterday brought two exciting ideas for me. last night we went to our friends house with some people to discuss a new homegroup. we haven't really been in a homegroup since saylor was born-and prior to that we'd always been in one, since we first met. actually i think colin started attending and leading worship at the homegroup i was going to because he liked me.
so we value homegroup but it's hard with a baby. at first we could not keep him up that late and eventually i felt he could stay up a little later but there didn't seem to be any groups with childcare that we were interested in going to... a lot of our friends are getting married, but not too many of them have kids yet. anyway our church recognizes 4 types of groups- support/recovery, bible study, i forget the 3rd :), and relational. ours will be relational- every other week [people with kids like every other week!] we will meet for dinner- the kids are a part of this- they can run around and play and such. another week of the month will be a night of prayer/worship. then we also will do community service in any way- mowing a lawn to feeding the homeless, whatever. i'm excited for that cuz...i like helping people! and saylor did great last night- the only other children right now are my friend mary's kids kian and jonah- jonah's an infant and goes to bed early. kian is 2 months younger than saylor and way smart and awesome, i love him. he was rolling over at like 2 weeks, walked at a super early age- climbed out of his crib, already potty trained, talks in full sentences.... and him and saylor are becoming good buddies. which brings me to my second exciting [reaaaally only exciting to me] idea. kian is a little guy and was climbing out of his crib at a young age. so they decided to have him sleep---- in a tent! she had told me about this but i hadn't seen it yet. i fell in love with it last night, as much as one can love a tent. and i'm not an outdoorsy person. so i have no prior fondness for tents.


i love it because saylor likes to be enclosed. he wants to be in his crib or packnplay. and whenever we get pregnant again i don't want to have to force him to a bed if he's still happy with a crib. the tent is a great transition. saylor loved the tent! he kept saying he wanted to go ni-night in there. also yes, i like keeping him enclosed cuz he can wake up and play and i can sleep for another half hour or whatever. that what we often do now- he just wakes up and plays in his crib until i get him. the biggest reason i like it though is it's perfect for colin's parents house. they love having saylor over but he's quickly growing out of the little crib they have. she tried putting him to sleep in a little fold out bed but he refused. mostly the layout of their house is a concern. they have a sweet house, everyone should come over and hangout there sometime :)- right now saylor's crib is in their closet. and they have a little bed up in the loft that they planned to transition saylor to. there are also a couple bedrooms downstairs but that is pretty far away from colin's parent's room. my concern was he'd wake up and either be wandering downstairs, or up in the loft. both i'm not really comfortable with. so yay! they can put the tent in the loft. i told my mom about this and she feels like i'm caging him in- she also thought it was crazy that i swaddled him tightly until he was 6 months old- but the kid loves it. and i put toys in his bed and he's quite content to hangout and have some alone time. and what kid wouldn't want to sleep in a tent every night?!?! fun.
colin's leaving this weekend and i'm trying to prep but we are quite busy this week. i mostly need to get to the grocery. i like to try to stock up so i don't have to do a big trip while he's gone.... looking forward to may being over with and june arriving... and colin coming home just in time for heather and nick's wedding!!

diagnosis?

i've written off and on about feeling sick for the past few months. it's really hard to explain, and it still hasn't gone away. it's unbelievably frustrating and often scary. the main symptoms are nausea and lightheaded/headaches. it is quite debilitating. i don't have the energy or desire to do much as it exacerbates my symptoms [loud noises, bright lights, focusing on people makes my head swim and makes me nauseated]. from looking online the best answer i could come up with is some sort of inner ear disorder and yesterday a neurologist said he thinks that's what it could be. i had an MRI yesterday that came back looking good so now they want to test me for this inner ear thing. what i think it could be is called vestibular neuronitis and it says it usually clears up in 1-4 weeks or something but sometimes it lingers for months or years. i think it could be this as in the fall i had an ear infection then later my left ear was swollen and they didn't know why. so i think i somehow got some sort of virus that didn't clear up. i just want an ANSWER. i want a doctor to be able to confirm whatever it is and then help me.
we want to get pregnant again so i'm annoyed that my symptoms haven't fully cleared so when i'll get pregnant i'll just continue to feel nauseous, and i worry that my symptoms will worsen with pregnancy. i also am concerned about getting pregnant then the doctor prescribes some antibiotic or medicine that i can't take during pregnancy. my ear tests are next week but i don't have an appt with this specific doctor until the end of june. i cried when they told me that's the soonest i can get in. i do not want to wait that long- i know i haven't described this super well but if you think of it please pray-for healing first of all, and then that i can meet this doctor sooner than the end of june. that i will find definite answers and remedies soon.
saylor is amazing he learns new things everyday. yesterday i taught him the word 'sharp' and we talked about sharp objects. it's just fascinating to me, this age- they are sponges. i am so impressed with all he's constantly learning and i love his everyday he talks more clear and puts more words together. he loves having 'jare-bear' living with us. we love it too- hard to explain but it just works great for us, having a roommate. it goes along our lines of desiring community and sharing and all that too. after jared gets married we plan to have our friend alicia move in with us.
sun! warmth! windows open! flip flops! skirts! my favorite!

puking and sleeping mysteries

of course my son only throws up when colin is out of town. every time saylor has thrown up, colin has not been home. this morning i woke up at 8:45 and saylor was still quiet in his room. usually he's talking and such and i make a point to get him out of the crib by 8:45. i go in there and he is covered in puke. he says 'i poo poo'. aw no buddy you didn't, you threw up! so sad! i don't know when he did it but i was sad i didn't even hear it! apparently it didn't bother him as he musta slept in it for awhile. had to wash his blankets and stuffed animals twice to get the smell out. but he seemed fine today, only really wanted to eat [holly's] banana muffins so he had 3.
so mystery one, why does my son only throw up when colin's not here to partake in the process?
mystery two-not so much a mystery as much as a discovery... or something. for as long as colin and i have been married, we've always slept on the same side of the bed, regardless of where we've lived or how the room was arranged. although every time he's gone i would always sleep on his side. well we moved and i let colin arrange everything in the house because again i cannot say enough how visual i am not. it would be hilarious for me to attempt to set up furniture or even pictures and clocks in a house.... when we were moving we were just sitting in our room with our friend nick. colin was standing at his desk, our friend nick was sitting on colin's desk chair and i was laying on the floor. we were sitting there for a good 20 minutes, half hour... suddenly i'm like 'colin, where's your desk chair?!'... silence.. they just waited for me to figure it out. i had not even realized nick was sitting on it. i know this happens to people occasionally and it's funny but this happens to me all the time. we were at our house 4 or 5 times until i finally noticed jared's room had purple walls and purple carpet, and i only noticed because someone else pointed it out. i really don't think i really see things like everyone else. i have selective things i notice i guess.
so colin determined where our bed would go and he decided which side we would sleep on- me on the side closest to my closet and dresser and his side next to his desk and closet... but that would mean we were on opposite sides of the bed! i protested for approx. 10 seconds.... and now we've discovered the switch is much better! this is a really pointless story but it's history in our marriage so i'm writing about it anyway.. ahem. so now i'm on the left if i'm just sitting on my side, but if you're standing looking at the bed it's the right. how do you decide what side it's called? anyway a few weeks ago before we moved colin started putting a body pillow between us when we slept. if he did this our first year of marriage i probably would have yelled and cried at him but now i just laughed. the fact is i'd been kicking him like crazy and pushing him off the side of the bed in my sleep. we both kept waking up kicking each other. the body pillow was a barrier to me [from me?] and it worked pretty good. it was like having a baby there i knew i couldn't cross it. first night in our new house i said no body pillow tonight, come ont! and what do you know, i don't kick him anymore! one could say the pillow has conditioned me... but i really think all along i should have been sleeping on this side and i was fighting to get there.. and now that i'm here... it's like. feng shui. or something.
anyhow. my friend julie locked her baby in her car at my house tonight. it was pretty funny. i could relate as i did that with saylor last year. ok so all along one of my doors was unlocked. but still same scenario. flipping out, baby's crying. fire trucks arrive, feel kinda silly. at least her's was legitimate! mine ended in 'um, this door's unlocked'. funny.

saylor words and tangent

bah-blank - blanket
plop-plop- lollipop
wah-woh- water
oh-gurk- yogurt
bah-bleehy- blueberry
ah-sauce- applesauce
bah-bucks- starbucks
woh-rop- robot
ah-callo- avacado
pyeeah-yo- piano
tah-taw- guitar
mah-monce- monsters
say-yoh-saylor
leh-yo- yellow
leh-lo- little
assy-boo- pacifier. although i just asked him to say pacifier and he said it perfectly. assy-booh is his 'nickname' for it.
anything that ends with an M or an N he adds a T to it. he always says 'come on!' but it sounds like 'come ont!' colin and i started saying it that way too, naturally.
he doesn't use the letter S if it is the first letter. so 'skip' is gip. [he always wants us to skip 'scary' parts in movies like monsters, inc.]. snow is no,scoop is goop, and smoke is moke. [from all those cigars he sees all the men in his life smoking]
he's taking longer to learn how to talk than some of our friends kids but he's quickly catching up. and he certainly is smart- knows all his letters [many of them in sign language as well]. he understands everything said to him, of course. and he is using 3-4 word sentences now. i LOVE IT! i've always loved talking to little kids because they say the most random things. i can't wait to do that with saylor. right now if you ask him a question he just answers with 'huh' or thinks about it and gives a one word answer, like 'what did you and daddy do today?' he will think then say 'play' and smiles coyly.
he's loving our new house for the most part. when we leave to go somewhere he keeps saying he wants to go back to the house. and he's been sleeping/napping perfectly. in the morning he's been a little unsure... ok he's been throwing huge fits. i think he doesn't want to be in a room by himself! he's used to being in very close quarters with us. so if i need to go in the kitchen real quick he's whining and following me. and he just doesn't know what he wants to do so he starts crying and saying a bunch of different things 'aaah, outside!... aah, play. pretzels! socks on!' but as i write he's running in circles and he told me he's happy. just takes him a little bit in the morning. hopefully this doesn't last long. he never really throws fits and i don't know how to respond! we usually completely ignore him and he stops fairly quickly knowing he won't get a reaction. but with the big fits they just don't stop. i don't want to threaten without following through.... tantrums are really fun if you are at, say, target. this happened last night. fortunately colin was with me but we got several lovely 'looks'. i know colin and i don't look like the typical 'mom and dad' too so that makes people's looks more condescending. although when saylor's hamming it up and charming it makes people smile even bigger-maybe they are surprised we are parenting...
we are settled in our new house and enjoying it. so grateful so all the people that helped us.

love your husband

colin and i are both sick. now as far as energy exerted today i think he's spent more- had had to go to a radio station then practice, then whole foods.. and i only had ella for a half day and she mostly napped and then i took a quick trip to meijer. [we are always playing games on who is more tired or who works harder...ha]
i'm laying here on the couch and can't move and colin says he will 'make dinner' [fishsticks] for saylor. so im watching him cut up the fishsticks 'the wrong way' and not immediately dip them in ketchup to cool them off as i do and i'm about to tell him to do that and thank goodness i catch myself. i would have been nice, and colin would have put the sticks in the ketchup--but it's totally unnecessary to say anything!
so many parents are stressed raising their little children. and not that colin and i don't have our moments but for some reason we are in a good rhythm [so far....] and i think a big thing that is important to remember is that both of you are raising them. so there will be two different ways of doing things. and women in general will always have a better idea of how many diapers are left, when their last bath was, what they've eaten today. we just will. and we need to cut the guys some slack. men need to be built up and feel like they are the MAN of the house. so i don't need to get on colin for the way he parks, or for leaving a light on.-- so colin doesn't change his diaper or forgets to feed him.... me nagging him will not make colin remember better, nor will it make him feel confident in his parenting. saylor wears a dirty diaper an hour longer than i would have let him- gasp. not the end of the world.
i just read kate gosselin's book- kate of 'jon and kate plus 8'. they are christians and i read the book in a couple days, fun book, easy read. then i got online and watched a couple episodes as i don't watch it much since we don't have cable. and i just hate hate the way kate treats jon. and i know- i've only seen a few episodes and i know we are only seeing a small piece of their life, and i knooow she has 8 small kids. but. i still cringe when i see the way she talks down to him. it makes me want to cry! thank goodness she is organized and precise, that comes in handy with all those kids-but it's a strength and a weakness i think.. anyway i really hate assumptions about people in the public eye and i hate negative gossip- i believe they are christians and i believe they love each other. ok sorry that was a tangent.
and to go a step further- when colin tells me to be sure to put my dishes away or roll his eyes that i forgot to put the clothes in the dryer, whatever- even if he isn't pleasant about it- how much easier things are when my response is a sincere apology. instead of defense. i've been making a point to do that lately.
all this to way- our husbands will treat us better when we encourage and love on them more! ok colin made him those fishsticks and i asked him to get saylor a drink as well- he did not. and you know what- he even left the oven on. he leaves the oven on a lot!! and i'm going to choose to laugh about that rather than belittle him. i remember that colin offered to get dinner for saylor and let me stay on the couch. and that's what i'm going to go thank him for.

dentistry and origami

our good parents and lovely dental hygienist friend are always telling us to go to the dentist. and we always shrugged it off. no one else goes! i brush my teeth aaalll the time! i'm always drinking water. i don't think soda....or eat like.. carmel. but since i've been to 70 different doctors as of late i'd figure i'd tack on ye olde dentist as well. perhaps they'd have insight on my dizziness? well she couldn't say much about that but she did tell me i had about 75 cavities. how embarrassing! i don't even want to admit the real number! i made colin swear not to tell anybody but then i of course told everyone cuz as horrible as it is, it's pretty funny too. although here on my blog i'm just going to say 75. let it be known that the number is not far off from that. cringe!
fortunately we really enjoy our new dentist [colin had 3 cavities] so the hours i spent there were well spent. as in me laughing as she's giving me a filling and wanting so bad to contribute to their conversation but unable....as my mouth was open. my mouth has been so numb and disfigured this week. i don't numb very easily [perhaps that's why the epidural didn't work!??!] so after they figured that out they gave me some double dose extra strength stuff that left me crazy numb and sore all day. so that's been a trip. dentist, CHECK! all done. go to the dentist people!! so glad they filled my cavities while most of them were still very small.
monday night i went to a craft night some of my girlfriends have every week. i may be the least artistic of all my friends.... but i try. a few people were knitting, a couple were figuring out how to make a skirt, and a few of us were making origami. one of our friend's husband works at honda so he travels to japan occasionally- we had the real deal origami paper. that did not help me. they had figured it out and were popping out all these cute hearts and dresses and cranes... one girl had even made a nativity set of origami... here is one of mine.
what the camel was supposed to look like.

my camel

oh we were laughing so hard we were crying. i also made a retarded swan and a tulip that looks half way decent until you realize what it's really supposed to look like. all in all... it was awesome and i want to try again!!
saylor pointed to my camel and said 'goat!...uh doggy!...horse!...uh...shirt' good guess bud...i'd say yes for all of the above.

lotsa pictures

on saturday we spent the afternoon with colin's cousin and their 3 little kids. they have two boys that are less than a year apart and they have been giving us boxes of clothes after their boys outgrow them [the boys will be 4 and 5 this year]. we are so grateful for the clothes! between that, clothes bought and given to us from friends and family and all the awesome clothes we've been borrowing from auggie we've rarely had to buy anything! i mean really i think i've bought less than 10 clothing items for saylor. that's amazing!
the boys played so well together! saylor had a blast. their kids are so well behaved too. colin's cousin bobby was in iraq for a couple years and his wife raised two toddler boys by herself for awhile. and then got pregnant with their 3rd, and they were living on a 3rd floor apartment! that's always amazing to me. two toddlers and pregnant... alone. 3rd floor. can you imagine grocery shopping? KUDOS katelynn. the boys were similar to colin and jared when they were younger - the older one [colin] being a ham and vying for attention while the younger one is quieter is ok not being in the spotlight like jared was. so cute.


we walked to a candy store, ryan enjoyed making saylor laugh hysterically


seriously there were 4 little kids running around and it was so peaceful. they all played so well!... saylor was of course worn on out the ride home. if i don't have a blankie for him i let him snuggle with my scarf or cardigan.

random-colin and i saw a license plate on the drive that said mncoon. i'm easily amused and license plates easily distract me... this one made us laugh, all we could come up with was MANCOON. we looked at the driver and concluded, yah, that's a mancoon if you ever saw one. I GUESS...?!
and a couple more pics of saylor-
hanging out at our hangout spot. starbucks

saylor can't be in the sanctuary at church without being on the stage for a bit, usually at the drums [like father...]. i grew up in a smaller church where everyone knew each other and i value that. so i really am grateful that though our church has something like 8000 members, our circle of friends contains like half of the staff at vineyard- so it makes it feel smaller or more intimate for us. so saylor runs up to the stage today and loves on jeff then played on the keys for a bit..